Making the Dream Work
By Damon Hall, Middle School history teacher, 7th Grade Dean, Coach, Hackley School
“If you want to go fast, go alone…”
When I was in high school, one of my favorite teachers was Mr. Brennan. He had been both my teacher and coach and had made me feel seen as a student, athlete, and individual. When I asked him to write me a college recommendation, we had a conversation about who I was then and who I was becoming. One phrase he used to describe me stuck with me: fiercely independent. I embraced the title and leaned into this part of me even more in the years that followed. Being fiercely independent signified for me some level of self-sufficiency and resilience that would serve me well in my burgeoning adulthood. However, charging ahead knowing that I had the skills to tackle certain challenges on my own prevented me from seeking out opportunities that could help me successfully collaborate with others. Today I continue working to better develop this counterbalance, improving my willingness and ability to team up with others to reach common goals.
Preferring to stand on one’s own doesn’t make someone selfish or a lone wolf, I’ve learned. But the longer one settles into the “solo artist” routine, the harder it is to break the habit.
One of the most important steps in my journey has been learning about “Immunity to Change.” Developed by Harvard faculty Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey, this framework helps practitioners overcome a sticking point by examining behaviors that go against their desired goal. It compels one to consider competing commitments that enable these behaviors, and break down assumptions that lie at the foundation of the unwillingness or inability to change. To learn from my ‘Immunity to Change,’ I was paired with a partner to explore my hesitation to work with others where I thought I could do better alone. At the heart of the issue for me was trust, control, introversion, and conflict. I’ve learned how to fight some of my natural impulses to better come to terms with these traits.
“If you want to go far, go together…”
Many people who have played a team sport have heard at some point that “teamwork makes the dream work.” As cliché as that is, it can be hard for some of us to truly embrace a collaborative lifestyle. Off the field, we are taught to achieve, sometimes at the expense of others. We are taught to compete, explicitly and implicitly. In different ways, we learn to do first what is best for ourselves and those closest to us. While none of these lessons are necessarily negative, we have to acknowledge that there is a time, place, and balance for marching to the beat of our own drum and getting in tune with the rest of the band. While we strive to reach our individual potential in what can be competitive atmospheres, we cannot ignore the great potential that comes from collective, collaborative efforts. Humanitarian missions, national projects, medical advancements — all of these rely on the skill, effort, and communication between different peoples to accomplish something great.
In his bestselling book, Drive, author Daniel Pink suggests that adults are driven by mastery, purpose, and autonomy. Autonomy allows us the time and space to make our own decisions. It’s why so many people choose to work for themselves or seek employment where they know they’ll be able to dictate some element of their work duties, hours, or setting. Teachers, for instance, appreciate the freedom to be creative in what they teach and how they teach it. Pink’s other two motivators, mastery and purpose, seem a bit more open to the world of collaboration. Doesn’t mastery often come from the learning and sharing of ideas? Isn’t the betterment of the common good driven by the shared sense of purpose? When we think about what truly drives us, it is hard not to feel that the desire to stand out from the crowd and the desire to be a part of something greater than ourselves need to find ways to exist harmoniously.
“United, we help one another”
As a teacher, coach, and dean surrounded every day by driven young people, it is a pleasure to witness Hackley students working together to achieve common goals. Whether it be 7th graders building devices out of popsicle sticks and string for our First Friday egg drop activity, or high school athletes grinding out late summer practices in pursuit of a Fall Ivy League Championship, Hackley students are encouraged and expected to look beyond themselves and work with others to strive toward a common goal. In addition to Hackley’s eight major competencies which include traditional academic benchmarks for topics such as written expression, quantitative fluency, and critical thinking, students are expected to develop the skill of teamwork and are evaluated on their ability to share credit, engage in appropriate dialogue, lead, follow, and cooperate. Our shared mission compels us to “learn from the varying perspectives and backgrounds in our community and the world.” Our school’s emphasis and commitment to hearing and cooperating with one another puts each of us on the right path toward greater collaboration.
Being a faculty member and dean at Hackley brings me much joy. The people here are constantly working to be better — with instruction, inclusiveness, well-being, and much more. Faculty and staff work together to create the best outcomes for students and the larger school community. The eagerness of faculty to collaborate and the space to do so are crucial pieces of the school’s puzzle. At Hackley we all participate in numerous informal and formal groups, meetings, task forces, and committees to further numerous initiatives. If schools are teams, then ours is one with a winning culture and pedigree.
Together we’ve worked to make it through what we hope is the worst of the COVID pandemic. Getting through these difficult challenges together highlights some of collaboration’s closest relatives: compassion, empathy, grace, and support. I feel lucky to be a part of a community in which these qualities are present in abundance. And as our students continue to strengthen their muscles of collaboration, so do I. Learning to balance the desire to blaze our own paths as individuals while developing the capacity to team up with others in fulfillment of bigger goals can be a long journey. But as the ancient African proverb says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
