The Power of Kindness
By Sue Harmon, Lower School teacher, Hackley School
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” – Lao Tzu
It all begins in the summer, with a mindful stroll on a peaceful Connecticut beach. It’s early, the quiet allows for calm. My thoughts, the crisp air, the song of ospreys soaring above, the blue sky and the sparkle of the cool Long Island Sound. It’s time! A time of reflection, a time of anticipation. Who will be in 3H this year? What will the class be like? Will I have any students of returning families? New students to the Hilltop? Children of colleagues? It’s always an exciting time because it always begins with kindness — kindness rocks that is!
I carefully survey the rocks that have been washed ashore, tumbled and softened by the waves. How long have these rocks been here, how far have they traveled? Have they been picked up before? Have they been skipped? Each rock holds a story that I long to learn about, much like my next batch of incoming students. I am eager to collect each special rock to bring home with me to design and paint for each of my incoming students. Kindness rocks!
Kindness is central to who I am and what I aim to exude — in my classroom, with family and friends, with my philanthropic efforts, in life. Kindness is not an act, it’s a lifestyle. I have learned that kindness easily becomes contagious. As far back as I can remember, my family has led their lives with kindness at its core. Whether sitting quietly with my great grandmother as she peeled apples for a pie or by learning from her how to play a card game, it was through her time, patience, grace and love that I learned kindness. To be still, to listen, to learn allowed me to gain knowledge and experience through her gentle guidance.
My four grandparents also shared this gift with me. So many life lessons learned from them, all centered around kindness. Cooking, dancing, games, gatherings, holidays, celebrations. And as I reflect back on my life, everything was about love, giving to others, valuing time together, creating memories … kindness. My parents, siblings and I learned from the generations before us that kindness and character are the foundation of everything.
When I first stepped foot on the Hilltop in August of 1993, I followed the directions given to me by Carole Van Tassel, the Administrative Assistant of the Lower School, to where my interview would take place. She told me to follow the walkway on the Quad to the building where Enter Here to Be and Find a Friend was carved into the lintel above the doorway. Before my interview even began, I asked then Head of School Peter Gibbon about the significance of Enter Here to Be and Find a Friend. I quickly learned that Hackley took pride in the saying and that teaching the whole child was paramount to a Hackley education and at the core of the School’s culture and community. I knew at that moment that I had found the school where my values would be fostered, celebrated and encouraged.
From starting each year with a unit on the power of the ripple effect to having a classroom helper with the title of Kindness Reporter, or selecting read aloud picture books and novels that implicitly and explicitly highlight kindness, as an educator, I have been able to weave kindness throughout the curriculum and our everyday lessons and activities. The students quickly learn to embrace a classroom where kindness, respect, and friendship are the cornerstone and expectation. A classroom where our learning, growth, efforts, challenges, and mistakes are embraced and celebrated. Whether in math, creative writing, guided reading, social studies or teacher readings, we are constantly learning about and showcasing the power of kindness.
There are times when the Universe nods and lets teachers reflect on their efforts. I know my students are internalizing what I aim to instill, and recently I was blessed with the following exchange: with a huge smile and a look of sheer excitement, a student turned to me and said, “Mrs. Harmon, you know what? I get it! Our three classroom rules: respect yourself, respect others, respect the environment — it’s all about kindness! Our classroom rules are all about kindness! Respect for yourself and all things and places is kindness! If everyone followed our 3H classroom rules, we’d live in a world of kindness! Doesn’t it feel good to be kind?”
With that, I smile, chuckle a bit and hold back tears as I know that my student “gets it!” So, each summer, I will continue to comb that quiet, peaceful beach in search of the perfect kindness rock for each of my students in hopes that their kindness rock is a token of hope for a year filled with learning, growth, excitement and kindness.
About the Author: Sue Harmon is currently celebrating 32 years on the Hilltop. She and her husband Dave are the proud parents of Hackley Lifers Kathryn ’13 and Molly ’16. In addition to teaching in all Lower School grades, Sue developed and implemented the Lower School Associate Teacher Program and served as director of the Lower School After School Program for 21 years. She was awarded the Akin Chair and is the most recent recipient of the Ron Del Moro Award in Teaching. When not in the classroom, Sue enjoys spending time with family and friends, traveling, and live music. A two-time breast cancer survivor, Sue is dedicated to her philanthropic Rock the Pink campaign for the American Cancer Society, supporting awareness and funds for breast cancer research.
