Press release: Hair Force One App
The greatest political helicopter iOS game (probably) ever created.
The problem
It was a Wednesday. It could have been a Tuesday, but I forget. I was watching my favourite entertainment show — the American news. It was showing on all channels. It was August 2015 and I realised that the world was faced with a big, monumental problem:
How on earth can we get Donald into Mexico once the wall has gone up?
I couldn’t sleep. So I turned my thoughts to Hillary and immediately hit a firewall. Things were not going well. Something needed to be done.
So I followed my startup guidebook and did some customer research. It turned out that nobody cared. Not one single person. This was a bigger problem than I could have possibly imagined.
The idea
So I came up with a way of making the world aware of the dangerous plight of our most beloved American politicians. I would propel these modern-day stars of entertainment into the political consciousness. I would make them fly, both metaphorically and digitally.
I realised that while these idols and their followers are unlikely to own a pilot licence… they are likely to have smartphones. And thumbs.
Hair Force One was born.
The development
Coming up with the idea was easy. Learning to code was the hard part. But then I realised that I already knew how to do that.
So I incorporated a company, flew to San Fransisco and looked for some investors stupid enough to invest in a gimmick. I was overwhelmed by the response. Someone offered to buy the idea off me for 7 figures before I’d had time to explain it to them. Realising that I had struck gold I turned them all down and headed to the safest place on the plant.
China.
From inside a Chinese safe-house I started coding. I surrounded myself with a crack team of polite, gentle and softly-spoken triads. Together we succeeded in not working on Hair Force One for 5 months. But then the unthinkable happened. Ben came out and said that he thought the pyramids were used to store grain and I thought, fuck it, it’s now or never.
The game
Let us be clear. This is not a game. It is a movement. Hair Force One describes itself on the App Store in the following way:
Fly your way to the White House as your favourite presidential candidates!
- Outwit diligent Mexican wall builders
- Avoid pesky e-mail exchanges
- Steer clear of grain-hoarding Egyptian pharaohs
- Learn about your presidential hopefuls through some of their timeless quotes…
Launch details
- Release date — Thursday 28th January, 2015 (12pm Hong Kong time)
- Price — free
- iTunes Link — https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hair-force-one/id1065211497?ls=1&mt=8
Who made Hair Force One?
That would be me. But legally — Flailing Whale Limited.
App Store Screenshots
App icon
Note
In case it isn’t bleedingly obvious, this app has absolutely no affiliation with any politician or political party.
Thanks for reading and please enjoy Hair Force One responsibly.
