Blog Like There’s Nobody Reading… because there isn’t
And who cares! How long have I stared at empty pages and left them empty because I am not now, nor can ever be F. Scott Fitzgerald.
When I don’t write I can’t think straight. I think not spelling the words out leads to some kind of traffic jam in my brain and the longer I keep myself from writing the worse the jumble becomes. And that only keeps me further from writing because now anything I write will be the unpleasant untangling of my backed up brain. My muse, winded and with a stitch in her side, wheezes a long eventually to polish things into some mist reflection of elegance but the results are never more then sub-par words for the sake of themselves.
But if I don’t put down those sub-par words with regular frequency, I can’t think, can’t write, and only assure the further deconditioning of my poor muse.
Sometimes I surprise myself and the words fit together in beautiful ecology, balanced and transcendent. Then a wicked little voice speaks up in my left ear telling me not to blog such gold. “Get paid” it says, as if being paid to do the thing that keeps me breathing was such a given that up until this point I should have been monetizing my breaths. But I listen and keep my words under wraps until someone is willing to exchange money for them.
Of course, no one is willing to pay money for these flabby, heat-stroked, words. So I get discouraged because the thing I think I deserve isn’t immediately happening to me. And when I’m discouraged I’m bad tempered and when I’m bad tempered I take it out on my muse. Understandably, she finds it hard to be around me when I get like this. So the sub-par words remain coarse and the whole things is a flavorless word salad without any dressing.
The perfect is certainly the enemy of the good, but you can add to that axis of evil; second thought, greed, and arrogance.
I write because writing is the way that I make sense to myself. I hope someday that it can also be the way that I make sense to other people, but for now I write for my health as often as I can keep my enemies at bay and in my muse’s good graces.
