Lyft Self Driving Car Will Make Polite, Awkward Small Talk With Passengers

Lyft, which recently partnered with GM to develop autonomous driving technology, has announced that its self driving cars will make polite yet awkward small talk with its passengers.

CEO Logan Green said that Lyft’s spin on self driving technology would make its cars more “fun, hip, and cool” than similar cars being developed by its main competitor Uber.

Lyft’s self driving cars will utilize advanced artificial intelligence to see obstacles in the world around it, navigate complex driving situations, and gauge the social adeptness (or lack thereof) of its passengers. The car will be precisely engineered to maximise awkwardness in its engagements with passengers by fist bumping them upon entering the car, commenting on the weather, and occasionally making semi-offensive comments that nevertheless obligate passengers to reciprocate with reluctant “oh yeahs” and “uh-huhs” in order to not seem impolite.

“The mutual dance of awkwardness between drivers and passengers is a crucial part of the Lyft experience, and even when we replace the drivers with robots, we still want that dynamic to persist,” said Mr. Green.

Engineers at Lyft and GM are already evaluating new features to more convincingly replicate the daily discomforts of getting into a car with a complete stranger. Their latest prototype car can complain nonstop about previous passengers and its 4.6 star rating until it arrives at its destination, at which point it will open its doors and passive-aggressively remind the user to tip.