Microdosing Intern Has Bad Trip, Breaks Facebook

According to sources on internal company chatrooms, the Facebook outage earlier today was caused by an intern who had a bad trip whilst microdosing on acid.

Microdosing is the practice of taking small amounts of LSD in order to enhance one’s productivity, creativity, and energy. Larger doses of LSD, popularly known as acid, electric kool-aid, mellow yellow, or Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, is well known for its psychoactive effects. While the microdosing movement is not new, its use as a performance enhancer for creative professionals has been popularised only recently by an article in Rolling Stone.

The intern, whose true identity is still unknown, was attempting to replicate the effects described in the Rolling Stone article, and had acquired numerous tabs of acid from a local dealer named “Patches.”

The intern had taken a dose of acid before work, but did not realize that he had ingested more than 10 times the suggested microdosing amount.

An employee who witnessed the scene said that the intern had been acting strangely all morning, though no more so than some of the more eccentric engineers at the company.

Around noon, he suddenly began screaming about melting skulls and A/B testing before proceeding to drop all tables from a critical production database. He was quickly restrained by the on-call engineer from his team, though not before bringing down the main Facebook site.

The outage lasted several hours until the database was restored from backups. A Facebook spokesperson announced that no user data was lost, but the company was reviewing its policy of giving even junior engineers access to important services.

At press time, the intern in question had reportedly been put on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) by his manager.