Soylent’s New Product: A Nutrient IV Drip
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Soylent, the company best known for making a sperm-like food replacement drink, has just announced its newest product: an intravenous nutrient infusion called the Soylent Drip.
In a blog post announcing the Drip, CEO Rob Rhinehart described their new product as the state of the art in meal replacement. “Our R&D department thought of how we could improve upon our drinkable Soylent products, and IV was the clear next step — intravenous infusion is the fastest way to deliver nutrients to the body, and Soylent is committed to mealtime efficiency.”
The new product contains a plastic bag of modified Soylent liquid nutrient, surgical tubing, a needle, and a belt. “The Drip is designed for techies who are on a deadline. Instead of having to waste time opening, drinking, swallowing, and slowly digesting a Soylent drink, now you can just stab a Drip into your vein and continue crunching code as you’re being infused with nutrients at the same time. The best part is that we don’t need to make different flavors!”
“We were inspired by the culture of the homeless denizens of the San Francisco area,” said Mr. Rhinehart. “Specifically, by their radical self reliance, commitment to sustainable living on city streets, and their practice of injecting themselves with hard drugs as a meal replacement. It’s our goal to bring this ancient tradition from junkies on the streets to knowledge workers in tech offices.”
Soylent has already announced partnerships with YC to provide free Drip samples to its portfolio companies so startups can ensure maximum productivity from their employees without the expense of paying for “actual” food. Many of the companies in W17 batch have already credited their use of early Soylent Drip evaluation kits for increasing the valuation of their companies by enabling them to work 120 hour work weeks instead of a paltry 100.
According to a Soylent spokesperson, Drip will be available for purchase online starting next week for only $20 a hit.
