Techie Attends 11 Holiday Parties In A Month, Shattering Silicon Valley Record

A typical Silicon Valley holiday party.

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA — Shattering a Silicon Valley record, techie Patricia Chen attended an astounding 11 tech company holiday parties this year. Ms. Chen’s tour de force included small YC startups, medium-sized unicorns like Dropbox and Airbnb, and corporate behemoths like Facebook and Google, leaving her with a glut of Instagram photos and a dull pain in her liver that might be due to alcohol poisoning.

Ms. Chen, a product manager at a stealth Fintech startup, explained that her journey to hit up holiday parties started when her company canceled this year’s holiday party in order to donate the proceeds to charity. “I mean, yeah, it was good to donate to charity and all that, but I felt a lot of FOMO when my friends from other companies were bragging how their party was going to be at the Exploratorium or how Beyonce was performing or whatever. So I decided I’d upstage everyone by going to all of the holiday parties.”

Getting into the parties was the first challenge. Most of the time, she was able to accompany friends to their holiday parties as their +1s. Other parties were more challenging to infiltrate. Ms. Chen was able to gain entry to the Uber holiday party as a date for an Uber employee advertising their +1 slot on Tinder. For the Netflix holiday party, she simply put on a nice cocktail dress and walked in without anyone challenging her. “I guess I just looked like I was supposed to be there,” she said.

During the course of a single Saturday night, Ms. Chen reportedly pre-gamed on a free whiskey tasting at the Weebly party, danced to a live performance of Daft Punk at the Twitter party, took fancy photobooth photos with a real live lion at the Salesforce party, and was still able to attend a debaucherous afterparty at Butter with a group of Box employees.

We reached out to the Guinness Book of World Records for comment on this remarkable achievement. A spokesperson told us that Ms. Chen does qualify for a record, describing her actions as “really intense but kind of weird and desperate, like many of our other record categories. But we’ll allow it.”

Follow Halting Problem on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and support us by getting some swag!