Twitter HR Director Lays Off Employees On Halloween While Dressed As Grim Reaper
TWITTER HQ, SAN FRANCISCO — Standing in front of the entire company after the lunchtime costume parade, Twitter HR Director AJ Sandoval announced that the company would be laying off around 350 employees, about 9% of the company. “This was a hard decision to make, but I’m convinced that this is the right thing for the company,” said Mr. Sandoval, who was dressed in a Grim Reaper costume with the skull mask and scythe and everything. “Which is, of course, making our stock price go up.”
“I’m really sorry about the timing of this announcement. I only found out about this recently,” said Mr. Sandoval, who had been spotted 15 minutes ago in one of the company’s glass-walled conference rooms facepalming after a one-on-one with Jack.
As of press time, Mr. Sandoval was spotted making his rounds handing out pink slips flanked by two security guards dressed in bunny suits.