Choked Chicken A La King: learn to prepare Mr. Trump’s favorite dish

Bill Ouzer
Hand Made Mockery
Published in
2 min readAug 12, 2018

Let us learn to prepare Mr. Trump’s favorite dish: Choked Chicken a la King, the ultimate in 100% American hands-on comfort food. (It’s gonna be great)

You will need:

(1) Enormous, over heated, pot bellied stove

(4) ineptly fondled chicken breasts, boneless. Mr. Trump insists on GMO.

2 Tbs coarse salt, but not kosher. There are some very fine alternatives.

Dozen G-String Beans (shucked).

Unminced words (to taste)

For mushrooms we substitute Big Mac Secret Sauce, for butter a delicate spam reduction, and for milk we are still waiting to explain to the President that cashews do not actually have udders. No comment is required as to the reasons the pimento is excluded.

Throw all the ingredients into bowl, scream at them until they form a blended mixture (you can make fun of the string beans and accuse the spam of being fake meat, if necessary). Preheat the largest available George Foreman Grill until it is hot enough to produce third degree burns if someone were to be stupid enough to place an open hand directly on it. (Hint: Kellyanne is unlikely to be fooled a 3rd time.) Dump the whole mess onto the grill and slam the cover down. Count to ten using each number only once and consecutively, or do the best you can.

The entree is now complete and ready to be self served.

--

--

Bill Ouzer
Hand Made Mockery

Post menopausal retired lower middle manager can do without walks on the beach. Voracious napper. Inconsequentially droll.