The Secret to Mitch McConnell’s Savvy Defense of Donald Trump

A Focus Group of Cranky 2nd Graders

Mitch ready to meet his team

Ginger ‘The Hammer’ Giuliani

Jingo ‘Baby Face’ Bolton IV

Mitch refers to his group as, The Squad. He has relied on this team for most of the basic defensive tactics employed to cover for the crude, cruel, criminal, crass, crazy, creep he works for:

I know you are, but what am I

It was broken when I got here

He hit me back

You didn’t tell me I couldn’t

Jimmy did it

Wasn’t me, I was in the backyard

Dad said I could

They don’t give Report Cards anymore

Travis “T” Bickel

You can’t punish a 7 year old for that

I did it, but it wasn’t my fault

He broke his promise not to tell anybody about it

I’m late, but I was on time yesterday

Meg “Mini Mitch” Quail

That broken bird bath thing again?

My dog ate my subpoena

Sarah ‘The Huckabee’ Hiver

Mikey ‘Three Days’ Flinch