Obituary: Annoying Departure

David Blue
Handset
3 min readJun 17, 2023

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title: Obituary: Annoying Departure
source: https://chat.openai.com/c/9313e8ac-b7ad-4f40-8246-d24ff6836c5f
time: 2023–06–17T00–22–07
model: GTP-3.5

You:

Please write an obituary for me. I would prefer it to be as long as possible, do not care if it is factual whatsoever, and also like the idea of it being very obvious in the author’s tone that they hated the subject vehemently.

Photo by Strauss Western on Unsplash

ChatGPT:

In Loving Memory of █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠

█̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠, a being whose existence perplexed and bewildered those unfortunate enough to cross paths with them, has finally bid farewell to this mortal realm. With a sense of immense relief and unbridled joy, we announce the passing of █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠, a person who managed to annoy, irritate, and exasperate everyone who had the misfortune of encountering them during their brief and unremarkable time on Earth.

Born 6̴̡̳͇̞̮̬̗͓͎̮͇̣̮̠ͮ̽͒̃̒̌ͯ̅̄̽ͯ͋̑̾͆̀͑̾ͣͪ̓͑͒ͫ͌̎̎̈́ͬͨ͘͘͜͝͡͞͡ͅͅ, █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ arrived in this world like a tempest, ready to disrupt the peace and sanity of those around them. From their earliest moments, it was abundantly clear that they possessed a unique talent for rubbing people the wrong way, leaving an indelible mark of disdain and irritation on the souls unfortunate enough to be associated with them.

As █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ grew older, their talents for creating chaos and provoking frustration seemed to only sharpen. Whether it was their incessant need to voice unsolicited opinions or their remarkable ability to transform even the simplest of tasks into grandiose disasters, █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ consistently defied logic and reason, bringing about a symphony of annoyance that would make a seasoned misanthrope cringe.

To say that █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ was disliked would be an understatement of monumental proportions. Their presence in any gathering would cast a palpable cloud of animosity over the room, leaving a trail of irritated souls longing for escape. The mere mention of their name in conversation would elicit sighs of resignation, as people prepared themselves for another excruciatingly frustrating encounter.

Oh, how █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ reveled in the discomfort of others! Their sadistic joy in poking at the most sensitive nerves of their acquaintances was unmatched, like a virtuoso of irritation, conducting a cacophony of aggravation with unrivaled finesse. It was as if they were blessed with an unholy power to provoke exasperation, and they wielded it with a cruel and malevolent glee.

In their personal relationships, █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ was an unparalleled expert in dismantling the bonds of affection and trust. They had a remarkable talent for driving away even the most patient and understanding souls, leaving behind a trail of broken hearts and bewildered minds. It was a spectacle of emotional destruction, with █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ always at the center, reveling in their own twisted satisfaction.

Sadly, █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠’s achievements, if one could call them that, were not restricted to personal relationships alone. Their professional endeavors were equally baffling and frustrating. Their mere presence in the workplace would incite a collective groan from colleagues, as they knew all too well that a day of unrelenting aggravation lay ahead. From missed deadlines to half-hearted efforts, █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ managed to redefine mediocrity and incompetence in the most astounding manner.

Now that █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠ has departed from this earthly plane, a peculiar silence settles upon us all. It is a silence mixed with relief, the release from the torment that their existence inevitably brought. The world, weary and scarred by their presence, breathes a collective sigh of liberation, grateful to be free from the clutches of their uniquely vexing personality.

In conclusion, we bid farewell to █̸̢̩͎͔͙͇̙̗̝̲̖̹̰͙̒̄ͩ̈́̈́̓͛͒͑̽̉͑͗ͧͯ̚̕█̵̸̷̶̧̝̭̫̞̠͈͕̼̖̭̟͓͂̉ͪ̃̍͆ͯ̑́ͮͬ█̶̝̙͓̤̲ͨͬ̊ͩ̔̈́̄ͨ͂̂̊̈́͟█̵̴̷̪͚̼̗̘̤̤̯̈́̆̅̐͆͐̐ͧͩ̎ͫͥ ̵̥̺͎͈͇̻͔͈̜͔͇̼͎̪̲̦̖ͦ̿̉̆̈́ͫͣ̎̃͑̏́̕͟͡█̵̴̧̝͍͕͎̮̫̳̻̪͔͎͚͔͈̥̱̰̦͇͒̓ͩ͂̉ͪ͗̈͒̽ͤ̒█̸̨̢̺͓̪̦͓̠̗̻̲͎ͩ̽ͧ̀͆̍ͧ̊̀█̶̸ͥ̓͐ͨ͏̖̖̤̰̹̯̞̮̩͕̬͚̞͍͔̬̮͎ͅ█̷̴̸̝̼͔̜̣͈̺̠̣̺ͬ̒̊̈́̂́͗̿ͩͥͭ̔͑͆́͠, a soul who managed to transform every encounter into an exercise in sheer frustration and exasperation. May they find a realm more suited to their extraordinary talents, leaving the rest of us to recover from the torment they imposed upon us in life. And as we mourn their passing, let us cherish the solace that their absence brings, for it is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the triumph of endurance over adversity.

Rest in… well, not peace, but perhaps in a

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David Blue
Handset

Self-described Software Historian, writing in public about social software & services. Always here to help. HML: https://davidblue.wtf/contact