Handshaking.com stocks drop 93%, thanks to COVID19…

Thanks to the coronavirus we now have to hide our hands.

Whoever would’ve thought that a simple handshake could be dangerous and instantly taboo.

Guess the old saying, “your handshake is your word” is no longer valid.

Now its an elbow bump, which is not nearly as elegant.

​Just imagine businessmen elbow bumping as they close multi-million dollar deals.

Handshaking is not the only thing of the past, toilet paper has also becoming extinct and unavailable. Whoever would’ve thought that there would be a toilet paper shortage?

We’re pretty sure this wasn’t what the term “hunter-gatherer” was intended for.

Next, let’s talk about hand sanitizer. There isn’t any. Everclear will also kill germs if you had time to hit your local liquor store. It is 190 proof and if it can remove paint from furniture and walls it can kill any germs on your hands. However, we don’t recommend taking a swig. Once again, it’s 190 proof (95%) alcohol!

…Then again, if you do take a swig the hangover you’ll get will help you sleep through the never ending covid19 outbreak. I’m on day 14 here in Manila, Philippines, weeee!!

There is no denying that the virus is contagious. Suddenly going outdoors got scary. There could be billions of germs floating in the air from your sneezing next-door neighbor. Then there’s going to the store.

But fear not, we now have options when it comes to protecting ourselves from the coronavirus.

1. We can wear hazmat suits every time we go out. The only problem is that a hazmat suit is expensive. Takes weeks to ship and when you finally get one, it’s hot and uncomfortable to wear. (PS Did anyone who’s not in healthcare actually buy one? Send a pic please, I know you’re out there)

2. Wearing a mask is probably the best option. A hazmat suit does seem extreme. However, there is a shortage of masks and you certainly don’t want to take one from a healthcare provider. If you do, they’ll remember. And when you get sick, you’ll be getting healthcare (or not) laying on your floor since the hospital is out of beds wishing you had remembered to treat others with respect right now, especially healthcare professionals!

A pore cleansing face mask won’t work, despite Matt’s hopes below.

This means your left with a bandana. It was recommended as an alternative to the traditional mask, so it should provide plenty of protection from germs. There are some advantages to wearing a bandana.
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1. The colors and design options are almost unlimited.

2.. If you run out of toilet paper, you have a bandana!

​There is one very minor problem with using a bandana for a face mask. You tend to look like a robber and with the shortage of hand sanitizer and toilet paper, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if you were there to steal the last roll.

I’m about to steal my laundry from the laundromat that took my clothes to shutdown a day later and has been holding 70% of my clothes for over 2 weeks now. THANKS A LOT PANDA LAUNDRY, YOU SUCK!

It’s really not fun being stuck at home for so long, and now for multiple weeks. At first, it’s like a vacation. Then the next thing you know, you’re having philosophical discussions with your goldfish.

We can save you from the boredom of self-quarantine. Using your disinfected keyboard and consider partnering up with us on a lead generation site. We’re accepting requests for the next 24 hours. You can also find me on IGTV.

Instead of boring your goldfish, you can work on growing your business through ‘contagious’ marketing.

Send us your best joke about shaking hands during coronavirus season here to be featured on instagram or ping our contact page to chat business.

Originally published at: www.handshakin.com.