Chinese Vocabulary for Dummies/Foreigners

An unrelated photo of me enjoying my fifteen minutes of entirely unmerited fame

(in no particular order)

1. MEI YOU LI MAO (没有礼貌）：literally “you have no manners”; I use this when random truck drivers and bicyclists swerve straight into or in front of me WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED.
2. BU YAO (不要）：”don’t want”; I use this when street vendors accost me and try to sell me small portraits of Mao on a string (this happens more often then you think); most effective when said loudly and repeatedly
3. TAI GUI LE (太贵了）：”too expensive”; if you ever do actually want to buy a Mao picture on a string and don’t want to get massively ripped off, be sure to use this phrase.
4. WEI SHENG JIAN/ CE SUO (卫生间／厕所）：”bathroom”; if you want to use a bathroom in China, be prepared to squat and BYOTP (bring your own toilet paper). It’s not fun, but everyone’s gotta do it.
5. DUI BU QI (对不起）：”sorry”; for when you invariably manage to screw something up (examples: forgetting to pay, knocking something over, accidentally insulting someone, breaking something… the list goes on and on and on)
6. WAI GUO REN (歪果仁）：”foreigner”; for when you want to understand all the random Chinese people making fun of you.
7. WO BU ZHI DAO (我不知道）：”I don’t know”; as a non-native speaker, you’re bound to constantly be faced with problems you can’t solve and questions you can’t answer; often, the best way to deal with these situations is just to admit that you honestly have no idea.