Belated National Coming Out Day
I posted the following on Facebook last Friday, October 11, 2019, on National Coming Out Day. Not everyone is in a place where it’s safe–physically, socially, or emotionally–to come out. I am in a safe place in my life, so I choose to come out. My voice is loud and I wield it with Pride!
It’s national coming out day. Who am I?
I’m Chris. I’m pansexual, non-binary, and polyamorous. My pronouns are she/her…and I’m working into ze/zir, I think*. While I’ve been open about most things, especially about neurodiversity and mental illness, this is the first time I’ve “officially” posted about my identity, although I changed my gender on FB to non-binary and have been posting about all three things more in a lead-up to the official post, which is this.
I admit that posting about being non-binary is scary for me. I’ve lived in the safety of at least passing for cis-het or cis-pan, even though I’ve been more or less androgynous since I was allowed to choose what clothes I wanted to get. My attempts to be “ladylike” were to please family, not me. I have mild dysphoria, as the label of “woman” always made me feel icky, among other aspects to it. It’s taken a long while to accept this because I didn’t want to be a “copycat,” but when I look at my childhood and forward, I know it’s real.
I know that the friends who care (many of whom already know) are supportive, but this was the last straw with all but one member of my family (my youngest sister always was my favorite!). Gender non-conformity is not a mental illness. However, the discomfort inflicted by society’s and familial expectations on a GNC person, even when they don’t know what it is they are feeling, can and do lead to mental health issues.
Maybe I’ll share the entire story at some point. I’m the same person I always was; I just get to be open about it to myself and to you. (Also, I didn’t know that NB was a reality until about two years ago, and then everything began to fall into place.)
PS: If you ever want to talk, you’re safe with me.
* There are several pronoun choices. While many people are comfortable with they/them, it doesn’t work for me.
