How cultivating this one habit helped me thrive in life
I have learned that there is one key difference in accomplishing what I have set out to do versus giving up.
The secret lies in my ability to overcome the many, many excuses my brain will conjure up to simply quit or not even try. It is quite ingenious at crafting logical, rational and compelling stories on why I should not do something. These can quite easily stop me in my tracks if I succumb to them.
If I want to truly thrive in life and accomplish what I have set out to do it is necessary to persist no matter what excuses may crop up or how much doubt and fear resides within me.
If I want to be successful I simply need to persist beyond any excuse that arises. It sounds simple, right? Yet it can be incredibly difficult.
For example, a couple of months ago I embarked on a new gym regime. This consisted of waking at the ungodly hour of 5 am daily and trudging to the gym in the darkness. Here I sweated, suffered and groaned until the sun came up, after which I trotted off to work. It was not glamorous. It was repetitive. It was not fun — well I must admit that I do like to suffer, or at least see how far I can push my body so maybe it was a little fun. Some mornings I did not want to exercise, felt tired, weak or unmotivated. It was amazing how quickly my initial motivation dwindled. I had to summon a mammoth amount of sheer grit to persevere until my gym going was established as a new daily habit.
After a few months a friend of mine commented on my figure and how svelte I had become. Just as I was about to open my mouth to thank her she exclaimed ‘How lucky you are!’. I stared at her dumbfounded, slowly processing the words that she had uttered. ‘Lucky’ I repeated in my own head. Luck had nothing to do with it. I had worked for this. I had suffered for this. I had sacrificed staying up late and going to parties so I could adhere to my new 5 am regime. Luck simply did not play a role.
Nonetheless, my friend was inspired by my results and also began going to the gym. This last exactly one week until she succumbed to excuses which deterred her from her goal.
This made me contemplate how I am able to stick to the goals I set out for myself and I have highlighted key actions I took which helped me to cultivate the ability to overcome excuses.
I made a pact with myself: I found that I often said I would do awesome things. Yet, I never took any real action to make any of these things happen. Needless to say I did a lot of talking and accomplished very little.
I became frustrated and angry with myself. I asked myself, Is this the kind of person I wanted to be? When exactly was I going to do any of these awesome things? Time has a way of silently slipping by at warp speed. I realized that unless I took action I would still be talking about these things ten years from now.
I decided then and there to make a pact with myself. If I said I was going to do something, then I had to do it. No excuses. Uttering the words formed a verbal agreement with myself. One which I could not wriggle out of. Through this I learned to be more selective with my words, thoughts and goals.
The best piece of advice I ever read: I can vividly remember reading this piece of advice albeit not word for word, or who said it.
What do you do when you feel unmotivated ?
‘I do it anyway’ came the reply
This was a real ‘Aha!’ moment for me. Previous to this I always thought that I had to be motivated or inspired in order to start a project or embark on a goal. I would wait for inspiration to strike. Needless to say I did a lot of thinking and waiting as opposed to taking any real action. Motivation is fickle and will quickly evaporate. I cannot rely on her. Grit is a much better companion on the road to thriving. I find once I commit to something I stick to my goal like glue. It gives me a renewed sense of energy, purpose and fuels my fire.
Know your why: Asking why is very important. Knowing my why is even more important. When I feel unmotivated or am having a bad day I will inevitable question why am I am doing what I am doing. The why becomes the mantra that keeps me going. When I feel like giving up I return to my why. It keeps me firmly pointed towards my goal.
Running: Ok, this might sound like a weird one but bear with me. I have dipped in and out of running for many years. It is only in the last year that I have become a consistent runner with a special interest in long distance (again take note of how I like to suffer)
Running long distances has changed how I think about life. It is incredibly tough to run great distances. Earlier this year I trained to run in a desert marathon and embarked on 26.2 miles under the glare of the Australian desert sun. I am happy to report that I far exceeded my goal by being the first female to cross the finish line. I received a lot of congratulations and on the surface it looks like quite a feat. However what is not visible is the hours of training and dedication it took to get there.
I ran early in the morning before work, in the evening as light turned into darkness, when my legs were tired and dedicated huge chunks of time on my days off to run. My life became an endless cycle of running, eating and recovering. Not a glamorous or exciting existence but I enjoyed the process. I believe success is like an ice berg. All that is visible is the end point, the tip if you will. While all the work it took to get to that point remains hidden beneath the surface. This is the part that interests me the most.
Running has helped me establish an even stronger work ethic, become more resilient and affect my outlook on life. Running is simply putting one foot in front of the other. Similar to life, the secret to moving forward is one foot in front of the other, step by step, day by day. Everything begins to look more achievable once I break them down into simple steps.
Do not expect it to be easy. When I look at someone else life, I only see the a very tiny part or what is reflected on the surface. This can look easy and uncomplicated compared to my own messy and complicated existence. I never know what someone else is going through, everyone has their own internal struggles.
Just because I achieve things does not mean that I don’t struggle or at times want to give up. I am human.
I do not expect things to be easy. This can affect me mentally if I anticipate an easy journey. I anticipate that I will struggle and I embrace this rather than be deterred by it.
The art of commitment: Committing to a project and goal can alter my outlook on life. It revives me and gives me a sense of purpose and renewed energy when I am working towards a goal.
When I accomplish my goal it empowers me. I learn that I am much more capable than I though I was. For example last year I ran my first ultra-marathon, cycled 850 km across Australia and completed a desert marathon. I never ever thought I would be able to do such things.
What has been at the root of all of these great adventures is my ability to persist beyond excuses, doubt and fear. I now find myself committing to crazier and crazier things.
I now know I am capable of great things. So are you. It begins with the internal battle of overcoming excuses.
