3 Horrible Situations I’d Rather Be In Than Eat Pineapple On Pizza
The debate rages on.
Pineapple on pizza is such a hotly debated topic that people go to wild lengths to explain their hatred for this almost unholy mixture of sweet pineapple mixed with heart-clogging sodium-packed ingredients on top of enough carbohydrates to cause diabetes.
I’m here to add another piece of complete nonsense to the internet by using extreme examples of things I would much rather do than eat a pineapple pizza.
3. I Would Rather Brush Wite-Out Over My Eyeballs
They say that when you lose one sense, your other senses get stronger. That means when I brush quick-drying Wite-Out over my eyeballs, that I’ll essentially take away my sense of sight. This means food will taste better, music will sound better, and people’s body odor will be more repugnant.
2. I Would Rather Stub My Big Toe On Vibranium
If you haven’t lived under a rock the past decade, then you’ve seen at least one Marvel movie. If not, then you’ve probably heard of a character named Captain America anyway through your children, grandchildren, or the crazy guy at the bus stop. Stubbing your toe on a door frame, coffee table, or dresser sucks so much, that’s why I would rather stub my toe on the side of something made out of Captain America’s shield than eat pineapple on pizza.
1. Blindly Answer The Doorbell
Doorbells were invented in the 1800s. That means for hundreds of years, people just blindly answered the doorbell. Nowadays, a doorbell is the worst sound you can possibly hear when you’re not expecting someone. Why do you think they invented a doorbell with an actual camera on it now? Just so you can see who is taking your Amazon package? No, it was invented with someone with social anxiety — change my mind.
However, if I had the choice between answering a doorbell or eating pineapple on a pizza, then I’m answering it and following whoever it is to their windowless van and or church bus.
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