I Made A Robot Write About Quitting Social Media
Spoiler alert: it had a hard time.
It’s been some time since my last robot-written article, and that’s because I needed a small break from writing in general.
Everybody needs a break from too much of anything from time to time. Whether you watch too much TV, spend too much time on Facebook, or aggressively knit to forgot your problems — taking a break is mentally healthy.
Though, if there’s something we could all use a break on, it’s the hundreds of pieces floating around the internet about their experience quitting social media. We get it Brenda, you need a break from politics and people’s babies, but we don’t need any more tips on quitting social media. Just log off, throws your phone into a nearby river, and move to an island inhabited by human trophy hunters — it’s that easy.
As you know, in order for the bot to work, I had to fill it with a good number of articles for it to develop its own personality in order to write its own article about taking a break from social media. Let’s take a look at what it has to say.
What I Learned From Taking A Social Media Break
Every morning I swiped my phone into my coffee before plugging my brain into my book. I needed a break from Facebook and my children. I couldn’t stand them anymore. Since I became a woman I used Instagram more than Justin Bieber. The notifications were like drugs I couldn’t run over with my car. It made me want to move to Florida and burn.
I knew it was time for change like Obama without lemonade. I turned off my social media and ate rabbit food. It was the best decision I’ve ever emailed to John. Thankfully, YouTube turned me abstinent. I didn’t need my children ever again. I didn’t know how happy I was until John took my kids.
The next day was Saturday again and that doesn’t happen a lot, but I knew it was time to trim my fingertips and put pieces of my life into a newsletter. Instead of likes and comments, I ate to induce massive headaches. This was so much better than raising children.
I had to communicate via signals. It was very unhealthy and where are my children? Thankfully, I had an app to burn my coffee and my doctor. He said it was because of my depression. I turned all my attention to my blog about drowning. That’s when my periods started, so I became a young man with anxiety.
After a couple of days without social media, I married again. He was not a vegetable. He had an attention span of a Monday. I miss my children.
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