How Gertjan van Stam recognises inviting spaces for all of us
Happyplaces Stories (video)
Kees Klomp played the ‘liaison d’amour’ and linked me to his ‘Windesheim colleague and African to the deepest fibres of his body and mind’, Gertjan van Stam. I then delved into his articles on Academia, such as ‘Community Networks in the African Context’ and ‘Maslow’s Theory of Human Motivation and its Deep Roots in Individualism: Interrogating Maslow’s Applicability in Africa’ and many, many more.
Gertjan writes away. At my request to talk further, Gertjan invited me to his self-built house in the woods, but not before I had already received a hint of his thoughts in the mail: “Space is granted, received, and then passed on again. That requires noticing, observing in all dimensions, recognising in all dimensions, waiting for it while always being ready, and, when you enter space timidly and with appropriate amazement and gratitude for the invitation, ‘being’ there, discovering and experiencing the coherence, and then, moving along, sharing what has been thrown into your lap and becomes show-and-tell.”
During the second meeting, we recorded a piece, which will undoubtedly be much more in the future. But what a wonderful thing it 100% ‘we are’, but more about that later.
This transcript has been edited for clarity and length.
All space is us, not mine. It’s us.
‘We space’
How do you create space? Well, space exists. Can you recognise it? Space is created. I exist, so I take some space, but the space is infinite, both in time and geographically. Others also take up space. Space they can control or are a part of for you to enter. All space is us, not mine. It’s us. You don’t create it. You can be there in the other space, in the space you’re not. And it depends on what you think of your being. Am I this human being in this body? Is that the space I take? Then I only take one square meter right now. But if it’s also thinking, then you have ideas going around and taking space. In all these spaces, you need to stick to certain rules to be able to be here. For instance, I’m Dutch, so I’m allowed to be in this space physically because I’m Dutch. But if you’re not Dutch, like what we call migrants, and which is not a nice word at all, people that come from other places to this place might not be allowed to take that space because they don’t have the right papers. There are certain rules to be allowed in a space.
By being allowed space, you also have a certain responsibility to whether or not to take it. The question of how I create space is not necessarily what I recognise because I don’t create it. I hope to recognise it. And upon invitation, I step in when I can contribute something to that space. And again, I think it’s physically, mentally, and spiritually.
So, how do you create space? I would like to know if space is created. You inhabit it when you are allowed to do so, and that’s physical, as I’ve explained, but also with your ideas. When you are initiated into certain areas, you are more allowed to step into spaces. I think it’s like education here, where you get a diploma, and then you are certified. You’re an engineer; thus, you can do engineering things, and you’re allowed to enter certain spaces and say something about it when you’re an engineer. But it’s the same with thoughts. And I think it’s not only about being allowed into them but sometimes you have to because of certain responsibilities. By being allowed space, you also have a certain responsibility to whether or not to take it. The question of how I create space is not necessarily what I recognise because I don’t create it. I hope to recognise it. And upon invitation, I step in when I can contribute something to that space. And again, I think it’s physically, mentally, and spiritually. It’s important to understand that there’s also a spiritual side to things in which you can be invited into and take up space. I think space is also connected with responsibility.
Space invitation
Creating space, if that’s the question, then upon which authority am I to create space? I wouldn’t know. I think authority is something you receive; power is something you take. Of course, I can say: ‘Okay, I’m powerful, so I take space.’ That would be based on power. But power is always under authority, so under which authority would you exercise that power? I think a lot goes wrong when people take space where they are not invited. Then you get conflict. We should recognise that we are not complete without the other. I’m, per definition, incomplete; I need others. You go into space with others. Again, you don’t create space, you go there upon invitation. A very important distinction, I think.
I think a lot goes wrong when people take space where they are not invited. Then you get conflict. We should recognise that we are not complete without the other. I’m, per definition, incomplete; I need others. You go into space with others. Again, you don’t create space, you go there upon invitation. A very important distinction, I think.
Recognising space
Recognising space is important; I think it comes with wisdom. First of all, what is space? How do you recognise space? And then when you’re invited, you know what you’re doing when you get into it, especially if it’s new. You have no clue. You don’t know the rules of the space or the culture and might inhabit it differently. It can, in my view, only be done upon invitation. Who are you to take space without you knowing the rules? It’s not the rules, but you know the customs that you do take the space in a manner that is well. It’s not ‘good’ because there’s a judgment in ‘good’; it’s ‘well’. You would like to be in spaces where there’s well-being, where you’re part of the well-being. That also makes you happy. Because it’s quite exciting to enter into new spaces, but you can’t do it just by yourself in my view, because how can you be secure, how can you be safe, how can you be sure that you don’t make more mess in that space than was before?
When you’re invited into a space, do you know what you’re doing when you get into it, especially if it’s new? You have no clue. You don’t know the rules of the space or the culture and might inhabit it differently.
When we come in, we bring ourselves, but such a thing happens upon invitation, and invitation can come in many ways. People in authority can invite you into that space. Then you’re safe to enter. There can be people of power who invite you into a space. Then, you have to assess if it is safe. And I think it comes with wisdom because you have to know yourself in your incompleteness. I can be complete in my incompleteness, and that’s how we need each other. We need each other in our incompleteness because we are complementary. In complementarity, we occupy the space. We should, to a certain extent, because we must be in harmony with nature and ecology. We have taken spaces that we should not taken. For instance, if you look at the mining industry, people do mine, so they take that space. The question is, how come the space was there? How come the ancestors allowed that space to be still taken? Why didn’t they take it? And what gives us the right to take stuff, say in mining, and what gives us the right to take it all? Not to leave anything for those that come behind us.
I can be complete in my incompleteness, and that’s how we need each other. We need each other in our incompleteness because we are complementary. We need each other in our incompleteness because we are complementary. In complementarity, we occupy the space.
Space journey
Taking 100% space is also a question. It depends on what kind of space we’re talking about. Space is wonderful because it’s almost infinite. We also take space in time. We are here for a certain amount of time. One day, I’m dead and not in this space anymore, but ideas continue to take space. When people continue talking about ancestors, how do they still take space? How do you create space? I wouldn’t know. But how would you take space? We can discuss this because it is fascinating and a question of life. Who am I, and am I allowed to be? I’m part of the ‘we’; therefore, I should be, and I’m allowed into space because if I’m not in a certain space, then I am not. But I don’t do it because of that.
It’s not only how you create space because the question is who I am, but I am also because of others. I recognise and should honour that because I stand upon their shoulders. (…) Space is physical, social, mental, and spiritual; therefore, it’s a journey where we experiment in the sense of who we are.
It’s upon invitation. My parents invited me to come. They had to take certain actions for me to start existing, which was a joyful act that created space for me to come. Now I’m here, so I’m also part of their space. They created it, and I’m grateful for that. It’s not only how you create space because the question is who I am, but I am also because of others. I recognise and should honour that because I stand upon their shoulders. I can learn from that and add my flavour to where I am in space. Again, space is physical, social, mental, and spiritual; therefore, it’s a journey where we experiment in the sense of who we are.
‘Be’ space
To be invited is wonderful, and then you take the space, and then you can be in oneness, but you need others to help you because who am I to take space? But when you’re allowed to take space, it’s also wonderful to experiment that you can ‘be’. Many people feel sorry for being there or think they fail, but failing doesn’t exist. If you do it, honestly be who you think at that time you are, but remember that you are incomplete. If you think you are complete by taking all that space, I think that’s quite presumptuous and certainly not humble, and it doesn’t allow others to take the space. If you take a certain space, you always have to ask, why me? Why not the other? Maybe the other is better equipped for that space, so you must vacate. And why not? Everything moves all the time. It’s not about conquering. Creating space is often translated as ‘I conquer space’, but you shouldn’t conquer; you should be invited. You should do it humbly but forcefully; you can be who you are. We must take our responsibility to take space. But again, do not create it yourself. Recognise it to start to exist and go for it. Live. That’s life. Life is taking space to exist, to be. But from the ‘we’. ‘We are’ is what it is about.
Life is taking space to exist, to be. But from the ‘we’. ‘We are’ is what it is about.
‘We’ space
I see ‘we’ as very big, not just human beings. The ‘we’ is anything that lives, has a consciousness and breathes. And even the not-natural, the not-breathing world takes space and is allowed to do so. We should honour that. We should look into what we do when we enter those spaces. Even that could be inviting in my view. When a tree grows and becomes heavy with wood, why not cut a few branches in the way and make a fire? You take that space, but the tree might need to be pruned. Then, use what emerges from it to create, take some other space, and fill it with that harvest. That’s I think how nature nature works. It yields so much and gives us so much. But we should do it in reverence. We should not create and take that space, but we should recognise that we are invited because some pruning here and there is good. We also prune young human beings when they grow up. We give limits, and nature also gives us limits, and we should respect them. We live in one finite world, so we cannot just take space however we want. We have to be in balance with all the living and all the non-living. Also, in a spiritual sense, there’s space. All kinds of beings exist. We must recognise that there is also space to take in combination with spiritual ideas. So yeah, creating space, I’m not sure, but taking space is a responsibility, and I want to learn more.
We give limits, and nature also gives us limits, and we should respect them. We live in one finite world, so we cannot just take space however we want. We have to be in balance with all the living and all the non-living.
Every day, you have to learn how to enter into spaces. Being invited to do so is very important. Because then you can do it humbly and ask others to help. That is very important because if you create yourself, why would another start to help? No, let’s be invited, and others can then lend a hand; you can ask some questions. How is this space? Why does it exist? Who was before us, who will be after us? Why us? Why me? Why us? These are important questions. If you create just by yourself, who can you ask to help? You then basically take power. You get contra power, but if an authority invites you in, you are safe under such authority. Maybe you groomed yourself to be an authority in a certain way for a certain time frame in a certain space. That’s fine, but then you have been trained. That’s how it goes on. We hope that our children pick that up.
