Tech Triumphs, Blatant Racism and Romantic Detours
Ami and I were embarking on a road trip for business and a whole lot of pleasure (fingers crossed). I’m taking Ami with me on this trip because it turns out she’s not just a pretty face — she’s an expert with SMS modem installations. Move over, Brian, your tech troubles are over — Ami’s got this!
Our grand plan was to drive to Cape Town through Kimberley, Beaufort-West, and Paarl, upgrading clients to my new SMS software system, then intersperse that with romantic dinners, strolls, and well-deserved mini-breaks. We’d then make a slight detour to Hermanus for some whale watching en-route to install the last two sites in Swellendam and Oudtshoorn, followed by the long drive back home.
We left Joburg before the birds began to twitter and set off on what I could only describe as the long, boring part of the trip. A five and a half hour drive through pretty much nothingness to Kimberley via Bloemfontein. Arriving in the late afternoon, we expected it to be as hot as hell, but as it turned out, mother nature decided to throw us a cold front. I turned to Ami, “I think we need to buy fleeces, honey!” I said. We’d neglected to pack any warm clothes because it was the middle of summer, and the thought of it being cold had never crossed our minds. Luckily, we found a shopping centre in no time at all.
After a few minutes of walking around, we found a clothing store and went in. The stares and glares that greeted us were making us feel a bit uncomfortable. I think we would have gotten less of a reaction if we were a couple of elephants. Even the sales lady that we found to help us was in a state of shock. With a sudden urge to escape the awkwardness of that shopping ordeal, we hurriedly purchased our fleeces and got out of the shop as quickly as possible. Next stop, the DVD store to tackle the first installation.
First things first, we needed a plan. I would walk in first and get started with the software installation, then make an attempt to install the modem. After admitting defeat, (I had a mental block with the modem) I would call on Ami to work her magic.
As we entered the store, we were greeted by the customary mix of stares and dropped jaws. However, this time, — the sales assistant behind the counter (who was a person of colour) appeared as though she’d just come face to face with a ghost! (forget the elephants). Now, at this point it was not clear if she was shocked because a mixed couple had walked in, or the fact that Ami had walked in, or a mix of both.
I introduced myself and got to work while Ami browsed the DVD shelves to see what they had to offer. It wasn’t too long before Ami was being shadowed. The sales assistant must have thought Ami was up to no good and the mere fact that she was in the store had to mean she was trying to steal something. I don’t think she even knew Ami and I were together. It probably seemed like a wild coincidence that a white man and a black woman, decked out in matching attire would stroll into the shop simultaneously. I mean, seriously?
As predicted, I got tangled up with the modem. “Honey, please come and help me!” I said. You should have seen the look on the sales assistant’s face — she practically went into meltdown (and I’m talking about a Chornobyl-type) mode when she realised that not only was Ami romantically attached to me, but I was asking for her help. Ami joined me behind the counter and worked her magic, installing that pesky device “Voila, my LOVE!” she exclaimed, as if it were the easiest job in the world. Meanwhile, the sales assistant was still there, her mouth wide open like a confused fish out of water.
At dinner that night we couldn’t help but laugh about the reaction we stirred up in that shop. Who would have thought you could shock a person in modern-day South Africa? Although to be fair, she did get a double shock — first, that we’re a couple, and then second, a black woman’s smarter than a white man. I find it ridiculous that in a country where, at the time, Nelson Mandela was President, we were still catching people off guard by dismantling stereotypes.
I’d decided to ditch the whole overnight stop in Kimberley. Instead, we were going to drive through the night!” I wanted to show Ami the Karoo night sky. I’d seen it many times and couldn’t wait to show it to my darling. It has to be, by far, one of the most amazing sights you’ll ever see, millions of brightly lit stars, with virtually no city light to dim the spectacle.
The plan was to split the driving shifts. One of us would drive for two hours while the other caught some shut eye, then we’d switch. As we drove through the Karoo, I decided to make a pit stop for a moment of relief. Toilet break over, I woke Ami and handed her a cigarette, while urging her to look upwards. What a sight greeted her! Millions upon millions of stars illuminated the night sky. I leaned in to Ami, and in that moment of passion, I said, “Honey, it’s your turn to drive.” Romantic, aren’t I?
Two hours later, Ami, sweet as can be, trying her best to wake me from my deep sleep for my two hour stint at the wheel. And what do I do? I scream and shout at her! “Leave me alone!,” I growled, half-asleep and not in the mood to be woken up. I have to confess, waking me prematurely can (and usually does) go horribly wrong. I would go so far as to say I’m grumpy, although I know Ami would have a few choice words to chastise my actions, and trust me, they are not as polite as “Grumpy.” So, there I was, apologising to Ami. “Sorry, honey,” I mumbled, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
After driving through the night we arrived in Paarl to see our next client. I finally relented and let Ami take the lead, and I have to say, she worked wonders! With the installation done and dusted in record time, we treated ourselves to a delicious brunch before hitting the road for the short drive to Cape Town. After checking into our hotel, we had a few hours sleep, then it was time to get showered and get ready to go out to our favourite supper spot, Fisherman’s Wharf in Hout Bay — a venue we love and never miss out on when we are in Cape Town. Ami always has the West Coast oysters, it’s become a tradition.
So there we were, holding hands, strolling towards our seafood feast. The sun was setting over the bay, a stunning sunset sky in pinks and golds. Hout bay was our kind of paradise. I couldn’t wait to tuck into my seafood platter and to ensure Ami had plenty of Oysters complete with the knowledge that oysters are an aphrodisiac, nudge nudge, wink wink.
The next day, with our two installations completed, we spent the rest of the day taking in the sights of Cape Town, specifically Camps Bay. We’d found another seafood restaurant with a perfect view of Table Mountain. Time seemed to stand still as we took our time over our meal, lost in conversation, grateful for these precious moments we shared together. Life doesn’t get better than this, a great restaurant on the sea front, table mountain in the distance and Ami by my side. I was blessed.
Earlier than sparrows fart and after a few coffee’s, we continued our trip. Our first pitstop? The coastal town of Hermanus, where the ocean held a few surprises, if you were lucky enough to spot them. We couldn’t resist a bit of whale watching. We sat quietly in the car. After about ten minutes, we spotted a pod of around ten whales. Sadly, we had to make tracks. We waved goodbye to the whales, Camps Bay and Cape Town. After two fantastic days in this amazing City you can understand why it’s affectionately named “The Mother City”
Onwards and upwards to our last two installations, Swellendam and Oudtshoorn. We upgraded the last two clients without any hiccups and turned our attention to Joburg, a whopping 708 Miles away. We hit the asphalt without any hesitation. Enough was enough, we just wanted to go home now.
We were on course for Bloemfontein, the sun was bowing out, and we were hungry. Normally I would bypass Bloemfontein but since we were starving, we needed to stop for sustenance. My big dilemma, Bloemfontein or somewhere else? You see, many years before I’d spent two years in the army and I was based in Bloemfontein. When I finished my two years, I’d promised myself I would never ever step foot in Bloemfontein again.
I found a route that would slingshot us around Bloemfontein to a little town called Bloemhof. Now I should have been sceptical, I’d never heard of this town and I’d travelled to practically every town in South Africa.
Our detour led us straight into Bloemhof, a depressing little town that seemed stuck in a time warp. It reminded me of one of my favourite movies: Back to the future! We found a restaurant that looked okay from the outside, although that’s what the Christians said when they saw the Colosseum! We walked in and were met by an eerie silence that was quieter than a library at 2 am. Every pair of eyes in the dining room was fixated on us. Diners stopped eating to concentrate their stares. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Our hunger was more pressing than our discomfort so we found a table, sat down, and browsed the menu.
We both ordered steaks with a side of chips, hold the stares! When Ami excused herself to use the restroom, the owner, in a frenzy, shouted orders in Afrikaans to the cleaners, telling them to arm themselves with mops, buckets, bleach, and to be ready to sanitise the restroom the moment Ami emerged! I was completely shocked, as if the thought of a person of colour sharing the same facilities was blasphemous. Someone forgot to tell these relics of the past that it’s 2024, not 1924!
Ami returned from the bathroom completely unaware of what had gone on after she left. Our food arrived, we ate and got out of there post-haste. Ami kept asking me “why the rush?” I said “Never mind, let’s just eat and get out of here.” Wolfing down my steak, I remember thinking to myself that perhaps, just perhaps, we should have braved Bloemfontein instead.
We drove in silence for about an hour, both unable to comprehend what had just happened. As the memory of those events began to lift, they were replaced by our shared understanding that some places, despite the strides made in the broader South Africa, clung to outdated prejudices and racist beliefs.
From braving Kimberley’s chilly reception to Cape Town’s restaurant delights, we’d had a fantastic trip. Six installations, six happy clients, four unforgettable days, and an incredible 2,200 miles later — we can proudly say, “Job well done.”
Thank you for reading.
If you enjoyed reading my post you could always buy me a coffee 😊
Additional Notes:
Joburg:
An affectionate name for Johannesburg spoken by locals.
Hermanus:
Hermanus is a town in South Africa famous for whale watching. It’s one of the best places in the world for land-based whale watching.
Paarl:
Paarl is situated in the Cape Winelands of South Africa. It boasts outstanding natural beauty and is renowned for it’s wine culture.
