Self-revelation

…under the starlit beach soothed by the ocean breeze

The Milky Way at Gokarna, India (by Joseph D’Mello)

There is the present Me, there is an idea of Me, and then, there is the aspirational Me. I love different things about each of them but there are some things that stand out.

1. Present Me is all about learning — at work, in life. While at it, I’m unlearning a few things, it’s almost like shedding a rotten part of me to taste something new. Skimming through my professional history, I’ve come to realise how much I’ve grown and contributed to the environment around me — be it people or numbers. I’m disappointed for not stopping to take it all in. Either way, the path from here seems clearer than before even if there’s a lot left to figure out. In the personal zone, everything has settled in the perfect place. I’m more peaceful, sorted and composed from the otherwise messy situation in my head. Present Me quit smoking too. (Who knew that could happen!)
2. The idea of Me keeps deepening the cusp between the present Me and aspirational Me. It is constantly cherrypicking strengths of the aspirational Me, only to help better the present Me. Their combination leaves little room for sanity but that’s okay — I’d rather enjoy the insanity over boring myself.
3. What do I tell about aspirational Me. It’s my North Star who sits in the future and perennially watches over me. Honestly, everything today is simply an effort to reach that North Star. While I’m in a hurry to get there, I know it’s going to require a lot more effort and time. I also understand once I step in, I’ll have to go full throttle — no excuses whatsoever. I’m a tad bit eerie but excited since that’s my ultimatum for me and I don’t know what I’d go or be from there. I’m not worried since I believe I’ll figure it out when I get there. The point is to wait till I get there, have a ball and entrust the rest to time and space!

Post writing this, my futile uncertainty of being a madhouse is nearing a state of attention. The alarms haven’t gone off yet so I guess there’s still time.