The not so beautiful mind

The default setting of being a human brings with it a vast ocean of feelings and emotions. I have a bittersweet relation with them. I’m not concerned with their existence. They happen to be useful in some way which is probably why they exist in the first place. My problem revolves around their ability to be a distraction. I think the only emotion I wholeheartedly admire is our human need and want to evolve. Because I don’t think we would be where we are without the same. But the others, they all seem like a distraction and we are well aware what distractions do; reign the land of ruining. Imagine if we could turn emotions on and off as we desire. Now, that would be something I would be super proud of. What annoys me even more is how our brain controls it. Yeah, as much as one believes it is the heart, the brain is the real master here. There is no valid proof the heart does anything else other than pump blood and keep us alive. This beautifully complicated brain of ours has these powers that sometimes scare me, especially when emotions are involved. Because you never know what emotion the brain would hook on and what the hooking up could lead to. Perhaps some great and some seriously ugly outcomes. And outcomes define our lives. This holy chain of our mind’s workings is a pain to understand even though so far, I think we’ve done a fair job collectively. On an individual level, we’re pretty fucked in my opinion. Currently, my personal experience is solid proof. Life is an emotional roller-coaster and I’m not having fun riding it. Emotional roller-coasters aren’t my thing and even if they are, I don’t want them to be. Especially now, when the intellect in me has room for a healthy growth. Yes, this rant is going nowhere but that’s exactly what emotions do to you — take you literally nowhere. They just stay, play around and in return leave you in a mess that you can’t wait to clean. The worst part? There’s no instruction manual to help you with. Just you, or at least, whatever it is left of you.