A Tale of Love and Darkness
Israel Trek 2018 certainly began as a love story. From the moment we touched down in Ben Gurion airport, it was love at first sight. I was mesmerized by the pale hue cast over the Old City by the Jerusalem Stone and was enchanted by the green hills we experienced on long bus rides throughout the countryside. As we were all able to witness, Israel is much more than just the stereotypical Middle Eastern desert landscape. If landing at the airport marked the beginning of my romance with Israel, then I fell head over heels with the country in Jerusalem. Growing up in a very Christian home, I spent a lot of my childhood and adolescence reading from the Bible about the Holy Land. It was such a profound spiritual experience to be able to walk the streets that my favorite prophets had centuries ago and to touch the same buildings that they did. The day that was spent visiting all of the Christian Holy sites, it was as if the Bible was coming to life!
As I lay my head down on the last night in Jerusalem, my thoughts wandered to the conflict that was so present in the pre-trek meetings, yet hadn’t seemed to be a problem our first few days in Israel. Being in the “honeymoon phase” with Israel, my infatuation with the people and the culture were at a peak. I began to question why there was even a conflict at all. How could anyone deny the right of the Jewish people to live in their land, the land given to them by God? Couldn’t the Palestinians see the beauty of Jerusalem and the deep historical connection that the Jewish people had to the country? Things seemed rather simple to me, Israel belonged to the Jewish people! I was infatuated with Israel, deeply in love with the country and its people.
And then, she broke my heart. Call it what you want, “security fence”, “separation barrier”, or even just “the wall”, I was finally exposed to the ugly side of Israel that I had been too naïve to see. Spending time in Bethlehem opened my eyes to why the conflict is so… complicated. Seeing Palestinians forcibly removed from their homes, fathers being manhandled by the IDF in front of their kids, and staring at the colossal concrete barricade, I began to be disgusted by the same country I had just fallen madly in love with. How could such a beautiful place be responsible for such horrible atrocities? After visiting the settlement that night, I felt very conflicted inside. Who was the real Israel? Was she the country of peace and prosperity that I had witnessed in the beginning? Or was she the monster that I had just learned about in the West Bank?
As our trip progressed, I grappled with where I stood on the conflict, and even now, I am unsure on where I stand. The more I learn, the more realize that what I thought I knew before was wrong. Nevertheless, my love for Israel still stands. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to visit such an amazing place. However, Amos Oz puts it best when he said, “love is a curious mix of opposites… love is actually something quite gross”. Indeed, Israel is a tale of love and darkness.
