Chandler Parsons has more Instagram posts than points for the Grizzlies
The NBA’s biggest bro has 89 Instagram posts . . . and 46 points since signing with the Grizzlies
Chandler Parsons has had one hell of a life. He’s very tall, very handsome, and very good at basketball. If you were a very tall, very handsome, very good basketball player, where would you want to go to college? Think you might go to an SEC school coming off of back-to-back national championships? Because that’s exactly what Parsons did — he attended the University of Florida.
Despite winning the SEC Player of the Year his senior year, Parsons wasn’t drafted until the 2nd round by the Houston Rockets. Parsons played like a lottery pick in his rookie season and like a budding All-Star in his 2nd season. After he successfully recruited his buddy Dwight Howard (who knew?) to join the Rockets, Parsons became a household name around the league.
After another good season, Parsons was a free agent and famously signed his 3 year/$46M deal in da club with Mavericks owner Mark Cuban.
Give a very tall, very handsome, very good basketball player $46 million dollars and what’s that make him? A celebrity. If there’s a basketball player who loves being a celebrity more than Parsons, I’ve yet to see him.
Parsons’ first year in Dallas was eventful — he partied with Cuban all summer and sometimes even during the SZN. His coach got mad at him during training camp for gaining too much upper-body muscle in the off-SZN — do you even lift Rick Carlisle? Parsons had an unspectacular regular SZN, but had to undergo a minor hybrid microfracture surgery in his knee towards the end of the year.
That summer Parsons orchestrated the near signing of his pal (again, who knew?) DeAndre Jordan (who was later kidnapped by and convinced to re-sign with the Clippers).
Parsons sat out the start of last season and had a minutes restriction for a large chunk of the year. Towards the end of the year, he had to undergo yet another knee surgery. Despite his knee problems, Parsons opted out of his contract to become a free agent — it was a great decision. He was signed to a 4 year/$94.5 M deal with the Grizzlies on July 1, 2016.
Since signing with the Grizzlies 151 days ago, Parsons has rehabbed his knee, posted on Instagram, hung out in Jerry Jones’ suite at a Cowboys game, posted on Instagram, played a couple of games, got hurt again, and posted on Instagram some more.
Here are Parsons’ NBA stats since signing a max contract with the Grizzlies:
- 6 games; 46 points; 18 rebounds; and 5 assists.
Here are Parsons’ Instagram (“IG”) stats since signing a max contract with the Grizzlies:
- 89 IG posts; 7 #throwbackthursday posts; and 9 shirtless posts.
Put differently, here are Parsons’ IG per basketball averages since signing a max contract with the Grizzlies:
- 14.8 IGs/1.2 #tbts/1.5 shirtless IGs per game;
- 1.9 IGs/0.2 #tbts/0.2 shirtless IGs per point;
- 4.9 IGs/0.4 #tbts/0.5 shirtless IGs per rebound; and
- 17.8 IGs/1.4 #tbts/1.8 shirtless IGs per assist.
Now, the point of this article is not to criticize Chandler Parsons for loving him some Chandler Parsons — I could care less about his semi-narcissistic Instagram account. In fact, if I were as tall, handsome, and good at basketball as Parsons, I’d probably be twice as arrogant.
The point of this article is to emphasize just how beloved Parsons is amongst his employers, peers and fans. Despite leaving the Rockets and Mavericks in abrupt fashion, neither owner ever really criticized Parsons — hell, he and Cuban are still boys. Despite not producing to the standards of his contract the past 3 seasons, none of his former or current teammates have ever been critical of him. And his fans, well, we know how his fans feel about Chandler Parsons:
Everybody loves Chandler Parsons. Maybe it’s time you and I should too.
