Not all trash talk is created equal
Assessing Draymond Green’s verbal assault on Paul Pierce and other infamous NBA feuds
During the latest installment of the Punk’d: Warriors Embarrass Clippers, Paul Pierce (from the bench) started chirping at Draymond Green, “You can’t guard Blake!”, “You’re not that good!”, “Steph and KD carry you”, etc. In other words, typical, albeit petty, trash talk.
Never one to back down from any type of confrontation, Draymond Green switched spots on the free throw line so he could face Pierce (and possibly so he could yell into the microphone on the rim), and proceeded to verbally undressed Pierce — “Chasing that farewell tour. They don’t love you like that…you thought you was Kobe!”:
Draymond had upped the ante and made the trash talk a little personal — still, the exchange was nothing that the internet and social media wouldn’t forget about in a couple of days.
But then, in a somewhat uncharacteristic manner, Pierce took to Twitter to respond:
Pierce also appeared on NBA Countdown and downplayed Draymond’s sh*t-talking skills:
Draymond Green, who has #nochill (as the kids would say), clapped back on Uninterrupted:
“People tend to forget he was struggling to get to the playoffs . . . then all of a sudden Ray Allen and KG showed up. Let’s not forget that . . . Just because you were scoring points don’t mean you were carrying the team. if you couldn’t get anywhere and you couldn’t do nothing, where were you carrying them to? . . . Pierce had an amazing career. He was a beast. But how far was he carrying those teams? If you weren’t carrying them that far, I guess we’re in the same boat.”
Okay, now we have ourselves a bit of a feud. NBA feuds are, for the most part, awesome. They’re also pretty uncommon. Unfortunately for us NBA fans, this feud doesn’t really have legs: i) Draymond is in his prime and Pierce is semi-retired; ii) the Warriors embarrass the Clippers every time they play them; iii) Draymond’s trash-talk, while quite creative, was relatively inaccurate; and iv) Draymond and Pierce have only played one another maybe 10 times in their respective careers. The only thing that could further this feud would be for Pierce to have a pivotal role in a playoff victory against the Warriors this May — which is quite unlikely. Thus, the Draymond Green vs. Paul Pierce feud has likely peaked. On a scale of 0 to 5 shouting silhouette emojis, I’d give it 🗣🗣 (2).
The Draymond Green vs. Paul Pierce feud got me thinking — what makes for a great NBA feud? And how does the Draymond-Pierce Feud compare to some of the more recent and/or memorable NBA feuds?
🗣 Rules:
- Feud must have transpired from players playing with or against one another — no Shaq vs. JaVale McGee; no LeBron vs. Charles Barkley;
- Social media feuds don’t count — sorry Rajon Rondo vs. Dwyane Wade/Jimmy Butler; and
- Kevin Durant vs. Russell Westbrook is too media-driven at this point to be considered a legitimate feud . . . for now.
🗣 Factors:
- Is the trash talk true/funny/creative or mean-spirited/awkward?
- Is the media aware of the feud as it is happening?
- Is the feud between equals?
- Is there legitimate animosity between the players?
- Is there a rivalry between the players or teams?
Petty, Pointless Feuds
Devin Booker vs. Troy Daniels
This feud (if you want to call it that) was the personification of the dog-days of the NBA season — Devin Booker, a somewhat immature rising star who was the youngest player in the NBA last season, got pissed that journeyman Troy Daniels talked sh*t to him during a meaningless game in January. Booker decided to take a low blow at Daniels after the game and ripped him for being on 5 teams in 3 years. Booker, in turn, was universally criticized for taking a shot at a player who had battled to stay in the NBA and had also had a memorable playoff moment as a rookie for the Houston Rockets.
Feud Score: Zero 🗣— Everyone is now dumber for having witnessed this feud . . . I award you zero 🗣 and may God have mercy on your soul.
Kobe Bryant vs. Smush Parker
This feud materialized out of thin air years after Kobe and Smush held down the Lakers’ backcourt together during the Post-Shaq/Pre-Gasol era. In 2012, Kobe randomly had the following to say about Smush despite having not played on the same team in 5 years: “Smush was the worst. He shouldn’t have been in the NBA but we were too cheap to pay for a point guard.” Shots fired! Smush, who had put on a surprising amount of weight since losing his spot in the NBA, went on a radio station for half an hour and proceeded to bash Kobe’s personality and talk about how the 2 of them frequently clashed. Ultimately, this feud was dumb and loses points because of its untimeliness and the fact that it was between a top-15 all-time player and a journeyman point guard.
Feud Score: Zero 🗣 — if a feud falls in the forest and nobody hears it, was it actually a feud???
LeBron-Related Feuds
LeBron James vs. DeShawn Stevenson
Late in the 2008 season — a couple months before the Cavs would beat the Wizards for the 3rd year in a row in the playoffs — DeShawn Stevenson took a shot at the King, calling him “overrated” and saying that he didn’t lose any sleep the night before he had to guard James. LeBron refused to comment (but pretty much commented), saying that responding to Stevenson would be like “Jay-Z saying something bad about Soulja Boy.” Stevenson, to his credit, embraced the comment, and had Soulja Boy show up to Game 1 of the playoffs rocking a Stevenson jersey.
Feud Score: 🗣🗣🗣 — gets extra points for incorporating humor and hip-hop references into the 3-year rivalry between 2 good-but-not-great teams.
LeBron James vs. Klay Thompson
This one is still fresh in everyone’s mind — LeBron complained about Draymond Green calling him a “b*tch” after Game 5 of the Finals. Then, Klay Thompson mocked James, saying “I guess his feelings just got hurt.” LeBron refused respond to the criticism and laughed off Thompson’s comment, but you could tell he took it personally.
The Warriors found out what happens when you poke the bear that is LeBron over the next 3 games.
The feud didn’t stop there — LeBron wore an “Ultimate Warrior” shirt when the team landed in Cleveland after winning the title. He also continued to troll Thompson and the Warriors at his Halloween party this fall and in the visitors’ locker room on Christmas Day.
Feud Score: 🗣🗣🗣 — with the chance to increase to 4 or 5 depending on what happens with this rivalry over the next couple of years.
Feuds That Got Physical
Kobe Bryant vs. Raja Bell
Sick of being elbowed, Raja Bell decided to send Kobe a message by clotheslining him during the Suns first round matchup against the Lakers in 2006. Kobe, despite being 2 years younger than Bell, added fuel to the fire by talking down about Bell, saying “I don’t know this kid.” Bell was suspended for Game 6 — fortunately for him, the Suns were still able to come back from a 3–1 deficit to win this chippy series (which also featured Smush Parker).
Feud Score: 🗣🗣 — in the moment, this feud looked like it could be violent. However, Bell’s suspension and the fact that the teams never really squared off much before or after 2006 made this more of an incident rather than a feud.
Charles Oakley vs. any player who owed him money/talked back to him/tried to get with his girl
Here’s some quick life lessons:
- Don’t go in debt to Charles Oakley — brought to you by Tyrone Hill;
- Don’t run your mouth at Charles Oakley — brought to you by Charles Barkley; and
- Don’t aspire to be eskimo bros with Charles Oakley — brought to you by Jeff McInnis.
Feud Score: 🗣🗣🗣🗣 — Oakley’s feuds are legendary — he was the NBA’s boogeyman. However, he misses out on a perfect score because his feuds were too one-sided because no one was ever insane enough to fight back.
Legacy-Altering Feuds
Michael Jordan vs. Isiah Thomas
First, there was the All-Star freeze-out (hardly anyone passed to Jordan in his first All Star Game) supposedly orchestrated by Isiah Thomas. Next, after years of getting roughed up by the Bad Boy Pistons, Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls finally got their revenge in the 1991 NBA Playoffs. But instead of shaking hands with any of the Bulls players, Thomas and many of his teammates walked off the court before time expired:
Jordan, however, got the last laugh and made sure that Isiah Thomas didn’t get a spot on the Dream Team. The repercussions of this feud damaged Thomas’ legacy as the latter 2 incidents tend to define the end of his career.
Feud Score: 🗣🗣🗣🗣 — the only reason this isn’t a 5 🗣 is because most of the trash talk and maneuvering occurred behind-the-scenes.
Shaq vs. Kobe
On the court, they were quite possibly the most dominant tandem to ever play in the NBA. Off the court, they loathed each other’s existence — Shaq allegedly threatened to murder Kobe at one point while Kobe openly talked about Shaq’s extramarital affairs during a deposition for his own rape case. After parting ways (Shaq was traded to the Heat), their rivalry continued with an icy fist-bump on Christmas Day in 2004. And just when the feud started to die down, Shaq temporarily rejuvenated it with this freestyle:
Eventually, the two quashed their beef and have been cordial to each other ever since they played together in the 2009 All Star Game and were named c0-MVPs of the game.
Feud Score: 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 — this feud had it all — Hall-of-Famers, teammates, trash-talk, animosity and even up-to-speed media coverage. This was the pinnacle of feuds and will remain as such for the foreseeable future.
Love-Triangle Feuds
Jason Kidd vs. Jimmy Jackson
Much like the MJ-Isiah feud, this feud exists entirely based off of rumors, odd behavior and hearsay. The generally accepted facts are as follows:
- Talented youngsters Jason Kidd, Jimmy Jackson and Jamal Mashburn were part of an up-and-coming Dallas Mavericks team in the early-90s;
- One night during the season, singer Toni Braxton showed up to the team hotel and left on a date with Jimmy Jackson;
- Within months, Kidd, Jackson and Mashburn were all traded — sending the Mavericks spiraling back to the bottom of the Western Conference for the rest of the decade.
Those are the facts.
Here’s where it gets weird: Allegedly, Toni Braxton had been dating Kidd at the time and showed up to the team hotel that fateful night to pick up Kidd, but somehow ended up leaving with Jackson (pretty impressive work by Jackson considering that this was in the pre-DM-sliding era). Following the incident, Kidd and Jackson were at such odds that they would intentionally not pass to each other in games. Braxton added fuel to the fire by releasing an album titled “Secrets” and telling the media that she wasn’t one to kiss and tell. Both Kidd, Jackson (and even Mashburn) have vehemently denied that the love triangle led to the team’s demise. However, none of them have ever provided a clear explanation as to what actually happened and why the young core was split up so quickly.
Feud Score: 🗣🗣🗣 — imagine if Karl Anthony-Towns, Andrew Wiggins, and Zach LaVine were all mysteriously dealt next season for less than their respective market values. That’s essentially what happened to the young Mavericks in the early-90s.
Matt Barnes vs. Derek Fisher
Where the Toni Braxton-Jason Kidd-Jim Jackson love triangle stayed mostly behind-the-scenes, the Gloria Govan-Matt Barnes-Derek Fisher love triangle went nuclear and played out in the public eye. The SparkNotes version of this ugly feud goes as follows:
- Barnes and his estranged wife have 2 kids together;
- Fisher and Barnes were teammates and friends on the Lakers late in Fisher’s career;
- After retiring, Fisher became the head coach of the Knicks and cancelled a training camp practice so he could go to a BBQ at Govan’s house;
- Barnes’ kids FaceTimed him during the BBQ and told him Fisher was there;
- Barnes drove over 100 miles to the BBQ and proceeded to fight (and supposedly beat up) Fisher; and
- Since then, both guys were fined by the NBA, Fisher was eventually fired and immediately went on a vacation with Govan, Barnes has had more run-ins with the law, Fisher gave a bizarre interview, and Barnes still HATES Fisher.
Feud Score: 🗣🗣🗣🗣 — Unlike the Shaq-Kobe beef, the parties in this feud will never extend an olive branch towards one another. In addition, this feud loses a 🗣 point for being sad and involving role players.
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