Remember when: The Joey Porter Edition
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Joey Porter?
Remember Joey Porter? Of course you do — he was an All-Pro linebacker on the Pittsburgh Steelers for much of the 2000s, a 4-time Pro Bowler that recorded 98 career sacks and had career 12 INTs. He is currently an assistant coach with the Steelers too.
But nobody remembers Joey Porter for his stats, accolades and titles — that stuff is boring. I mean, we’re talking about a legendary sh*t talker here, a menace on and off the field, the NFL’s neighborhood bully — the real life version of Deebo. People remember Joey Porter by his incidents.
In fact, the incident you associate most with Joey Porter can reveal a lot about you as a football fan. So, what kind of fan are you? Take the Joey Porter Fan Personality Test to find out.
The Joey Porter Fan Personality Test
“When I think of Joey Porter, the first thing that comes to mind is _______________.”
A) “Oh, that’s the Steelers’ coach that got arrested for getting into a bar fight and punching a bouncer after their playoff game against Miami last season, right?”
Classic Joey!!
If this is how you remember Joey Porter, then you are probably:
- A Dolphins fan; but
- Were never a Joey Porter fan (people forget that he played for the Dolphins for 3 seasons and even recorded 17.5 sacks in a season); and
- You’re not a fan of tailgating.
B) “Oh, that’s the Steelers’ coach that baited Adam “PacMan” Jones into swinging at him during the waning seconds of a playoff game and drew a 15-yard penalty that allowed the Steelers to kick a game-winning field goal the next play, right?”
Yessir! JP still isn’t finished winning games for the Steelers.
If this is how you remember Joey Porter, then you are probably:
- Marvin Lewis (Hey Marvin, why don’t you get some control over your team for once!); or
- Vontez Burfict; or
- PacMan Jones; or
- A Bengals fan (and I feel sorry for you).
C) “Oh, that’s the Steelers’ coach that clowns around on the sidelines too much and still acts like he’s a player, right?”
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If this is how you remember Joey Porter, then you are probably:
- 40+ years old;
- Caucasian; and
- A youth sports coach that doesn’t appreciate professional athletes setting bad examples “for the kids”.
D) “Oh, that’s the crazy guy who assaulted Bengals’ players both on and off the field — like when he and 3 of his boys jumped Bengals’ tackle Levi Jones in a Las Vegas casino in 2007, right?”
Yep, not JP’s finest moment right there.
If this is how you remember Joey Porter, then you are probably:
- Levi Jones; or
- A witness to said assault at said casino; and/or
- Not a Steelers fan.
E) “Oh, that’s the guy who had all the pit bulls that escaped from their kennel and hunted and killed a horse, right? And then escaped again a couple years later and killed a neighbor’s dog, right?”
Damnit JP — you’re getting a little hard to defend at this point.
If this is how you remember Joey Porter, then you are probably:
- Steveo — the professional video game player from this Madden Challenge video; or
- Joey Porter’s neighbors; or
- A member of PETA.
F) “Oh, that’s the trash-talkin’, Deebo-actin’ tone-setter that was wild enough to get ejected for starting a brawl before a Steelers-Browns game for spitting in William Green’s face and punching a player with a helmet on, right?”
Hell yeah — that was JP in a nutshell.
If this is how you remember Joey Porter, then you are probably:
- William Green; or
- Had William Green starting on your fantasy team that week (he was also ejected during the brawl); or
- The guy that JP punched in the helmet; or
- A Browns fan (Sad!).
G) “Oh, that’s the crazy MF-er that got shot by a stray bullet in a bar fight about a week before the Steeler’s opening game of the 2003 season against the Ravens, talked trash from the sidelines to Ray Lewis all game, and then boarded the Ravens’ team bus after the game to try to fight Ray Lewis (and the rest of the team) despite being on crutches and just days removed from being shot, right?”
Man, that dude went 💯 at all times — what a badass!
If this is how you remember Joey Porter, then you probably:
- Know all the words to the original “Here We Go” Steelers-themed song; and
- Own multiple Myron Cope’s Official Terrible Towels; and
- Pronounce “you guys” as “yinz”;
- Are a life-long fan of the 6-time Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers; and
- Will be abiding by this motto on Sunday, February 4, 2018:
