The Has Been Sports Blog’s NBA Awards
Please give this ballot to Adam Silver if you see him
The 2017–18 NBA season was one for the ages — both on and off the court. Think about all the wild storylines:
- The best player in the league called the President a “Bum” in defense of one of his biggest rivals;
- The second-best player got exposed for having burner accounts on Twitter to defend himself from the haters;
- The first pick in the draft forgot how to shoot a basketball for 9/10s of the year;
- The Spurs’ franchise player decided that he straight-up wasn’t going to play after an injury diagnoses dispute with the team’s doctors;
- The Cavs traded more than half of their rotation players at the trade deadline; and, amongst other crazy happenings;
- James Harden committed a first-degree murder on Wesley Johnson in a game.
Amazing stuff!
Before we get to the playoffs, The Has Been Sports Blog would like to hand out some regular season awards:
MVP
- LeBron James
- James Harden
- Anthony Davis
- Giannis Antetokounmpo
- Kevin Durant
This is a two-horse race between LeBron and Harden — anyone who has Anthony Davis over LeBron is almost certainly a Bostonian hater (cough, cough, Bill Simmons) and/or doesn’t watch basketball and just consumes the NBA through Twitter. Harden will ultimately win the MVP, but, narratives and agendas aside, it should be a toss-up. Here’s a comparison:
Player A: 30p/5r/9a/ with 45%/37%/86% (FG/3FG/FT splits) and 29.8 PER
Player B: 28p/9r/9a with 54%/37%/73% splits and 28.6 PER
A = Harden. B = LeBron. Statistically, they’re pretty much a draw.
From there, almost every argument for each player has a legitimate counter-argument for the other:
- Harden’s team won 65 games and LeBron’s team won 50 — but the Cavs were decimated with injuries and moving parts the entire season.
- LeBron played all 82 games and led the league in minutes played. Harden only played in 72 games — but LeBron moped through the entire month of January.
- LeBron was not good on defense — but he was still more impactful on that end of the court than Harden.
Even the advanced statistics don’t create any separation for either guy:
- Harden was #1 in Win Shares and Box Score Plus/Minus — LeBron was #2 in both.
- LeBron was #1 in Value Over Replacement Player and Clutch Scoring— Harden was #2 in VORP and didn’t have as many clutch opportunities because his team was normally crushing the opponent.
Both players are deserving of the MVP trophy — I hope there’s a tie, so we can say “LeBron James Harden” was the MVP in 2017-18.
I’m taking LeBron over Harden — he’s still the NBA’s best player, has a level that Harden (and every other player) can’t get to, and is more aesthetically-pleasing to watch.
Davis is in his own class at #3 after his performance following Boogie Cousins’ injury. Giannis was great all year, but his team was underwhelming — he gets #4. Durant gets the edge over Damian Lillard at #5 for his impact on the defensive end of the court.
Least Valuable Player: Joakim Noah
Imagine being one of the two or three most overpaid players in the NBA. Now, imagine getting suspended 20 games for using PEDs in the offseason. Next, imagine coming back from your suspension, and being so detrimental to your team behind-the-scenes that the team has to send you home. Got that? Cool — you just did a mental simulation of Joakim Noah’s 2017–18 season.
Has Been of the Year
Woah, that was a long MVP/LVP debate with myself. Time for something a bit lighter — like the Has Been of the Year Award. What qualifies someone as a Has Been? Behavior (good or bad, but usually bad) that occurs on/off the court that makes you endearing to a former D-3 athlete who got after it on/off the court and took intramural sports a bit too seriously. It’s one of those “you know it when you see it” type deals. Here are the candidates:
Andre Ingram lights it up in his long-awaited NBA debut
This past Tuesday night, Andre Ingram, a 32-year old who played in the D-League and overseas for 10 years (never making more than $30,000 a season), got called-up by the Lakers and went bananas in his first career game — scoring 19 points on 6/8 shooting (4/5 from three) and blocked 3 shots in 29 minutes.
What an incredible, inspirational story of perseverance. Can you imagine playing for 10 years (384 games) against a bunch of Has Beens just for one shot at the NBA? And then, you go and tear it up like he did? Gives me chills thinking about it.
Ingram’s performance qualifies as a Has Been performance because he came in and got stats — he even temporarily led the league in blocked shots per game, and still leads the league in gray hair per head and dad outfits!
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope plays games while wearing an ankle monitor
After violating his probation this past summer, KCP had to serve a 25-day jail sentence during the season and was allowed to practice and play when the Lakers were at home . . . with a GPS-monitoring ankle bracelet. Folks, it doesn’t get much more Has Been than playing an NBA game as part of a work-release program and then having to report back to jail.
JR Smith gets suspended one game for throwing a bowl of soup at Assistant Coach Damon Jones
Never change, PipeGod — you’re perfect just the way you are.
Luol Deng plays 1 game, earns $18M
In the Summer of 2016, the Lakers made arguably the stupidest signing in NBA history and gave an aging Luol Deng a 4-year/$72M contract. This season (year 2 of the deal), he was healthy and played in the first game of the year for 13 minutes. He never played another minute. Making over $1M per minute of work is definitely something that any Has Been can respect.
Warriors coaching staff gets too drunk for Steph’s 30th birthday and cancels practice
The Warriors — coaches included (check out Steve Kerr and Mike Brown at the 1:15 mark) — got so lit at Steph Curry’s 30th birthday party, that they cancelled practice the next day. In other news, the Warriors gave zero fucks about the regular season.
Winner: Andre Ingram
Rookie of the Year
- Ben Simmons
- Donovan Mitchell
- Jayson Tatum
Just as I wouldn’t criticize anyone for choosing James Harden over LeBron James, I wouldn’t take issue with anyone choosing Donovan Mitchell over Ben Simmons. Like LeBron, Simmons has a higher game-to-game ceiling and impact compared to Mitchell — that’s what separated him for me.
The more interesting award is . . .
Best Rookie Class of 2003 Impersonation
I’m sure this comparison has been made already, but the 2017 Rookie Class is looking more and more like a reincarnation of the 2003 Rookie Class (although it remains to be seen who the Darko Milicic and Chris Bosh comps are going to be):
Ben Simmons — LeBron James
Donovan Mitchell — Dwyane Wade
vs.
Jayson Tatum — Carmelo Anthony
Winner: Mitchell-Wade
Defensive Player of the Year
Fake news. Has Beens are about getting buckets — they don’t concern themselves with defense.
6th Man of the Year
- Lou Williams
- Lou Williams
- Eric Gordon
This will probably be unanimous — Lou-Will averaged 23 and 5 off the bench!
Most Improved Player
- Victor Oladipo
- Victor Oladipo
- Victor Oladipo
This one will be unanimous. Oladipo went from an average starter to an All-NBA player — crazy to think that the Pacers may have ended up with the best player in the Paul George trade.
Most Regressed Player: Carmelo Anthony
I must admit, Hoodie Melo from this summer had me convinced that he could still play at an All-Star level and that he just needed a change of scenery from New York. Hell, I even wrote an article urging him to start his own religion — Hoodieism — and then petition the NBA to allow him to wear a hoodie during games.
Turns out, the joke was on the Thunder. They did NOT get Hoodie Melo. They did NOT get Olympic Melo. Instead, they got “I might have to go play in China next contract” Melo. Anthony has been horrendous this year — averaging 16p/6r on 15 shots per game with zero defense. Sadly, the team is better with Jerami Grant on the court during crunch time — yeesh.
Coach of the Year
- Brad Stevens
- Dwane Casey
- Quin Snyder
This is such a subjective award and there have been a number of impressive coaching performances this season (Mike D’Antoni, Nate McMillan, Greg Popovich, Terry Stotts — hell, even Doc Rivers did a great job this season). I’m giving Stevens the edge because of his ability to simultaneously develop young players, put players with obvious limitations in the best position possible and draw up the best sideline out of bounds and after time-out plays in the game. He’s like the LeBron James of coaching right now — he does everything at a high level.
All-NBA Teams
Note: Steph Curry and Kyrie Irving ended up losing their respective All-NBA spots because there was an awesome crop of deserving guards this year and they missed too many games. Perhaps they should have done less LeBron-dancing at weddings and more pre-hab exercises, lol.
1st Team:
G — James Harden, Damian Lillard
F — LeBron James, Giannis Antetokounmpo
C — Anthony Davis
2nd Team:
G — Russell Westbrook, Chris Paul
F — Kevin Durant, Jimmy Butler
C — Joel Embiid
3rd Team:
G — Victor Oladipo, DeMar DeRozan
F — LaMarcus Aldridge, Ben Simmons
C — Nikola Jokic
The All-Mail-It-In Team a/k/a The All-Postage Stamp Team:
G —JR Smith, Iman Shumpert
F — Tristan Thompson, Carmelo Anthony
C — Joakim Noah
Thanks for reading! Check out more of Pat Heery’s work at The Has Been Sports Blog!
