Mulling in Melbourne
A man approached me as I headed on the tram towards Fitzroy in Melbourne. He seemed friendly but a bit disheveled. He reached out to shake my hand and asked if I was from overseas. “Yes,” I replied, “from the States.” He continued to make small talk before asking me for a coin or two. “I’m sorry I’m not sure if I have any,” I replied. “Just check, maybe a dollar or two.”
As we spoke the middle-aged couple standing in front of me were listening. When I reached for my wallet they turned and stepped in.
“You don’t have to give him anything the woman said, we’re sorry he’s bothering you.” They gave the man a look that intended to shew him along.
At the same time, another middle-aged woman was listening in, waiting for her turn to barge into the situation.
“I have something for you,” she proclaimed in a loud, pompous voice as she stepped forward, clutching her purse, to hand the man a few dollars.
At that point, we had reached the stop for all of my accosters. The man got off with his money. The pious samaritan woman moved towards the door, then turned to the couple and me and huffed, “Unbelievable!” In the most condescending tone, she could muster. The couple gave each other a shocked look and stepped off the tram.
The flurry of social interaction that had coalesced around me dissipated as quickly as it began and I was once again left with my own thoughts.
What just happened?
It took a moment to make sense of it all. I’ve never before had strangers become so aggressively involved in a simple interaction that didn’t involve them.
Both extreme ends of the ideological spectrum for charitable giving came together and clashed, with me and a friendly, albeit pushy, homeless man in the middle.
Should I give money to those that ask in the street? It’s an issue I’ve spent considerable time thinking about. Most people that live in a city are confronted with this dilemma almost daily.
There are different schools of thought when it comes to this topic. I’ve heard people say that say giving money on the street is one of the least effective ways to do good with your dollars. Some people give money whenever they have it and some either ignore those that ask or always say no. I’ve known people to keep food or other supplies with them to give instead of money. Others offer to buy things for people rather than giving money directly.
I think I’ve fallen into each of these groups at different times. For a while, I settled into offering to buy food or supplies for people. This puts the responsibility back on the person asking for help to decide what they need and to make a bit of an effort to get it. It also weeds out the people that may be looking for cash to buy illegal substances.
However, this then brings up the question of what you’re willing to buy for someone. How much are you willing to spend and are certain things off limits? Do you take the approach of buying the person what they think they need? Or do you get to decide what your money is best spent on for them, whether they agree or not? I’ve been talked into buying cigarettes for homeless people in the past and then questioning my decision because I have a negative view of smoking cigarettes.
I don’t know that there is a catch-all answer for every situation but it’s certainly not stepping into stranger’s interactions to impose your ideas.
I’m curious about how other people address this issue. What do you do when people ask you for money on the street? What’s your reasoning behind your decision?
I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
