Haute Colonial — The beginning
Shit! — Not again! — I thought, as I packed my bags, got on a plane and cried.
I never expected to live in this city. The original ticket was round-trip in nature.
I left not necessarily because I wanted to, more because I had to. I’ve seen countless family members do the same, and really it was just a matter of time before I became a member of the Boricua diaspora.
Once I arrived at my best friend’s apartment — I didn’t talk — I didn’t cry I just went to bed. The reality of my life had become 5 hour gasoline lines, nights in which the hot sweat drops would awaken me every four hours, driving 20 mph on the highway to avoid broken branches and fallen light posts, and hoping no other emergency would emerge.
I spent hours thinking of what I once considered to be “normal”, because apart from reading (and waiting), that’s all that was left to do. To think about the “before” and worry about the “after”. Life in Puerto Rico will never be the same — and I hope that the breaking point shifts our equilibrium for the better.
So again once I arrived to my best friend’s apartment, I slept to forget the starving faces I had seen the day before.
The next day, I turned on the T.V. and did what many millennials are accustomed to practice as a relaxant — binge watching Netflix. With one of my friend’s roommates I watched “The Good Place”, a light-hearted comedy that ironically somewhat summed up the current situation. In one episode the main character’s soulmate — aptly named Chidi — explains the Trolley thought experiment. The experiment is setup to question moral dichotomies, with one decision championing utilitarianism and the other promoting Kantian ethics. Really it’s just a metaphor for establishing that no one course of action is truly benign. I began comparing this though into my own situation.
However, in my case — am I abandoning myself or am I abandoning others? Perhaps, in leaving, I am abandoning myself by abandoning others, or abandoning others by abandoning myself? Really they’re all true to some extent. Unlike the thought experiment, in which a person is a completely detached individual, in reality humans do not only belong to themselves. Instead, we are a hodgepodge of beliefs and habits either inherited or adopted. Thus, we can’t truly be singular beings, as our selves are emotionally and rationally intertwined with others. And so in leaving my island and joining the marvelous diaspora — I️ am both hurting and helping, myself and others.
Inspired by those on a similar path — two soul-sisters and I decided it was the right time to launch Haute Colonial, a startup dedicated in using fashion as an ammunition against colonialism.
My name is Eduardo, an unapologetic queer Puerto Rican, and I will continue sharing my story of adaptation in hope that it serves to inspire you and others.
