3A Chemical Engineering Survivor

The previous 4 months have been another daunting experience for myself, and I’m back again to reflect on the newly completed academic term. I can say that it has been my most involved term, where I have made much more effort in incorporating non-academic aspects in my study term to keep my mind off of the high demands of classes.

One thing accomplished that I am proud of is incorporating physical activities into my study term, while maintaining my part-time job, a long-distance relationship, and finding employment for the upcoming co-op term. Everyone wants to be that do-it-all person that has great time-management skills with a well-balanced lifestyle. Although I do not think my life falls under the ‘perfectly balanced’ lifestyle as many advocates of productivity glamourize (i.e. meal preps EVERY week, writing CONSISTENTLY in my bullet journal, exercising on a REGULAR BASIS, attending other school events), I believe that I have done the best that I could to perform decently in school while putting aside time to engage in other activities and responsibilities. For how much was on my plate, I am proud that I have made it through alive!

I have three words to describe my school term:

1. Active: I was physically exercising by participating in sports, and usually jumping between talking to my significant other, studying, apply for jobs, attending interviews and working part-time.
2. Enriching: 3A Chemical Engineering was the term that the ‘real’ fundamental ideas in ChemEng were introduced. It was interesting to dive into these concepts and do some real-life problem-solving and design projects with the previous knowledge from previous terms that were built as the foundation.
3. Surprising: Despite what I have heard from upper-years about the 3A term, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. While it was definitely stressful (when ISN’T any study term at UWaterloo Engineering stressful?), I surprised I was actually greater than ‘decent’ in the alleged most difficult courses of ChemEng! (At least until closer to finals…please note that my standards in terms of grades are pretty low, getting higher than a 65% is my standard of ‘decent’) Perhaps it was some of the professors that were great, or I was getting better at studying and managing time? Based on my standards, I was overjoyed that all my quizzes that counted for the final mark for Heat and Mass Transfer were over 75%. It was a great confidence booster and made myself think, “Maybe I’m not as stupid as I thought I was”.

One of the most challenging things for this term that I still continue to struggle with is opening myself up to people and participating in social settings. This is a very difficult problem for me especially when I am on my study term to do so, as I start to worry about the other tasks that need to be done, and fearing that time is being wasted engaging in small talk. Despite juggling all other aspects of my life, I am usually isolating myself in my room, or an empty lab in some obscure building to study. Because my mind is still so consumed in getting school work done, I do not think of anything or anyone else (except my boyfriend, but he respects how I feel). However, even when I’m not on my study term, I still get very socially awkward. This is one aspect that I would like to improve on. Perhaps the first step is being friendly and approachable, and not overthinking and getting self-conscious of what other people may think of me (in terms of how I communicate and express myself).

Relationship-wise, this term gave me an eye-opener about our dynamic, the longer we have stayed together. By that, I mean, I have learned more about the behaviour that each of us tend to gravitate towards, and how this affects the other person, thus their behaviour as well. A “perfect” relationship does not exist, and to be honest, we have argued quite a few times about various things. As my first serious relationship, these arguments do indeed scare me, as they test how intense my emotions can become, make me question my worth, and question my character.

“Am I a bad person?”

“Why am I so mad?”

“Does he still want to stay with me, knowing this side of me?”

The longer we have stayed together, we start to see sides of the other that aren’t so pretty. It takes two to tango. Both sides need to put in work to sustain a good relationship with their significant other, and this has become much more evident as this term passes. However, we are willing to put in the effort to show our love (ew, mushy), and maintain a happy, healthy (long-distance) relationship.