Jules Goes To College
As Told to Alexa Arrabito
“College is fun,” they said. “Live there, get that ‘real-college-experience’,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said.
I’m having a great time at Seton Hall, really. Don’t get me wrong. But all of this “fun” is a lot more than I expected it to be. Starting with my major; business. I think I also might be majoring in finance? I’m not too sure? But my family seems to be really excited about it. I’m in the finance club, which is about as exciting as it sounds. I don’t hate it, but Christ, is it boring. I’m thinking about switching to management.
When I was in high school, I pretty much ran the behind-the-scenes of everything that the theater department did. A lot of my friends hated me about 80 percent of the time, but I got the job done and that’s all that mattered. My directors loved me, and even hired me for the summer production after I graduated this past June. I loved every second of the misery that those douche-y theater kids put me through. I was one of them, and they were everything to me. Leaving that, to come to this — rich kids with silver-spoons sticking straight out of their mouths that smell like Kirkland vodka and a bad time.
But, not all the kids are bad. I half-knew some people when I first moved in, and my one friend from high school commutes to SHU. My roommate tried to introduce me to her friends, which just didn’t work.
This one time, it was like, ten at night on a friggin Thursday and my roommate asked if I wanted to go to a party with her and her friends. I said no, she left, I cried ’cause I’m an insecure lil’ bitch and I should’ve went to said party but I didn’t because where do 18-year-olds even go to get drunk? Where do they go? And how do they get there?
Anyway, I hung out with the people that I half-knew. All of them are boys, all of them are ridiculous, and somehow I fit right in…
…Right into the friend-zone. I just slid right into that comfy little like-a-sister-to-me status before I could even become interested in any of these buffoons. And then, I did. He’s got a girlfriend, which, ya know, why wouldn’t he? Why would a guy that I like be available and interested? Everyone probably thinks I’m trapped in the closet but I just literally never meet the right guys and always am sacked into the friend-zone. I made the awful mistake of telling my sister about this crush on this boy, and now she’s telling the entire planet Earth and perhaps others in this galaxy that I have a boyfriend who has a girlfriend.
This kind young man and I have math together. I spend most of my free time and evenings two floors up in his dorm (relax) with his three other roommates. There’s Reggie, a giant stuffed frog, as well. And, ya know what, we all have a great friggin’ time laughing at the most absurd nonsense. These guys make me feel comfortable. So, I might be in the friend-zone, but it’s really not a bad thing. My little crush is fading, especially after I met his girlfriend, and I’m back to just being Jules.
I guess they were right when they said college would be fun. I’m certainly learning a lot. Nothing academic, of course. These gen-eds are a tremendous waste of my precious young life.
Juliana Arrabito is unanimously the favorite child across all stretches of our miraculously large family. She is my second-youngest sibling, greatest supporter of all things weird and obnoxious, and co-star of all iMovie edited videos of lip-synced covers of Glee songs.