Selected Samples

Recent and/or Favorite, Selected Writing Samples from My Blogs

Jim Dee
Jim Dee
Nov 24, 2020 · 9 min read

Kind of a highlight reel of various writings.

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Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Quirky Essays & Misc:

Hypothetical Problem of the Three Superlative Feline Honors

The following is a story I’ve relayed on many a summer’s day relaxing on the back forty with Tuxie Cat, the single-most…

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Seven Strange Sales-Related Observations After Shopping For / Buying a Sari in India

My wife spent some time selecting and purchasing a sari (sometimes spelled saree) in India recently, and I got to…

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Tales of the Midwest: Intro and Foreword

What you have not absorbed by the time you reach the age of eighteen you will never absorb. It is finished. You will be…

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“This Feeding of the Birds”

A language tale.

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How to Pick Up Women Using Butter Chicken

(Actually it was Chicken Tikka, but same difference.)

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The Death of the Blue-Collar Worker: People Are Inherently Lazy, and It’s Only Getting Worse

Yes, we have true blue collar workers still. But some trades have become lazy.

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Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer as Ideological War Machine Propaganda

While the story of Rudolph dates back to 1939, it would be another decade before Gene Autry would turn it into a #1…

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Why I Believe I Was Abducted by Aliens (100% True Story)

I believe this all took place around 2006. My friend Kumar and I had both developed a strong hankering for Mexican…

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The Mathematics of “Gas, Grass, or Ass (No one Rides for Free)”

As far back as the 1970s, I recall hearing the phrase “Gas, Grass, or Ass — No one Rides for Free.” I’m not certain who…

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I Ate a $75 Salad Instead of a Filet Mignon and My Boss Wasn’t Happy

… when your salad requires a tuxedo.

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Fiction:

The Witch Lebowski: A Double Fanfiction Tale

I think the title says it all, but for an explanatory background (which I recommend starting with), click here first…

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Sunstone and Big Hummus

A fantasy about a hummus production company executive.

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Disaster Fantasy Dating: An Evening with Liv Tyler

Sunday before last, late at night, I found myself checking out a little Indian buffet in New York City, capping off a…

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Disaster Fantasy Dating: An Evening with Condoleezza Rice

One of the problems with trying to maintain an active imaginary dating lifestyle is that it’s a tough thing to control…

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Pirates of Pamlico Sound: My First Novella

The Pirates of Pamlico Sound is a novella written in 2005 under a former pseudonym of mine (Patrick Hillman).

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Claiming I Was a Contestant on The Price Is Right Made Me Interesting

A piece of short fiction.

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Business & Tech:

Thoughts on Becoming a Web Developer: Skills Needed & Business Considerations

As a full-time, self-employed web developer since 2010 (and having done freelance work since the 90s involving web…

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Observations on the “Mackay 66”: Want to Celebrate Wins? Get to Know CRM Best Practices

Strange pic for a CRM article, I’ll grant you… I like large pics atop my articles, and don’t like using others’ photos…

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Get Them to Kick the Desk: Keeping the Potential Client Feeling Pain as a Sales Technique

That was Lloyd Dobler from “Say Anything” offering some remarks on sales that, I suspect, many people can relate to.

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Would You Believe that Efficiency Is a Negative? Here’s How Efficiency Can Cost You Money

This article is mainly for anyone who is (1) highly efficient, and (2) NOT self-employed. It’s going to layout a case…

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Research and Business Development: Two Key Components for Proposal Success

Having written more than 700 business-to-business proposals during my career, I’m fortunate to have numerous examples…

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The Best Web Development Contract in the Entire Universe That You’re Welcome to Hate, Love, Ignore…

Let’s face it, most programmers, developers, and coders generally hate thinking about the administrative side of our…

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Thoughts on Internet Marketing for Musicians / Bands

Many of my online friends are professional, working musicians, so I find myself reviewing their online marketing from…

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I Should Run a Large Company and Pioneer *Extreme* Hierarchy

This is a “what if” post that pertains to my dream workplace. In my mind, I’m always building this huge, fictitious…

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Serving on High-Level Boards When You’re Not Wealthy

( — reposted from a collection of pre-2010 rants posted elsewhere.)

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Working in the Glass Castle

( — reposted from a collection of pre-2010 rants posted elsewhere.)

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Hyper-Analysis of a Wired Cover Photo Featuring Bill Gates and Bill Clinton

Four years ago this month, Wired Magazine ran this photo on the cover (for its December 2013 issue). I’d made some…

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Experienced Freelancers: Differentiate by Thinking Long-Term and Telling Clients You’re Doing So

The year 2019 marks my 10th year of self-employment as a web designer / developer. Statistically, they say that most…

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General Interest:

How to Become a Rock & Roll Photographer: Getting Your Foot In the Door

Rock photography has become a sideline interest of mine over the past few years. According to certain statistics, I’m…

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Rock Concert Photography Lessens Learned (So Far)

My first experience with rock concert photography happened at the 2015 Sasquatch event in central Washington. I really…

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How to Safely Torrent (i.e., Download Movies, Music, Books, etc.)

So, for whatever reason, you want to download stuff and not get a virus … or get arrested? Here’s what you should know…

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Writing On Writing:

How to Become an Awesome Writer: See Two Simple Ways Now!

Looking back over a 25+ year career in fields where writing is critical (marketing, communications, journalism…

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Sex Scenes and Writing Around the Point: Applying William Gass’ Ideas to Eroticism in Literature

As a follow-up to my previous Writing Cooperative post on improving one’s writing, I’d like to share another truly…

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The Comma Sutra: Punctuation (and Beyond) for Controlling How Readers Hear Your Words

Alongside the words themselves, there are other methods and tools available to writers that help convey additional…

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Writers Often Misuse “Due To,” But Here’s a Simple Trick to Know if It’s Grammatically Correct

The misuse of “due to” is one of the more common grammatical errors, usually made by those attempting to sound formal…

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Are You “Very Happy” or “Effervescent”? How Avoiding “Very” Can Improve Your Writing

File this article under the brief, “friendly reminder” category, as the point is something I expect most have heard…

writingcooperative.com

Your Muse / Lover / #1 Fan or Your Arch Enemy?

The word “editor” ranks among the more confusing titles in the business and literary world. For most lay people, this…

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When Good Writers Go Bad: A Confession of Deviosity Only Writers Will Understand

This “writer’s life” story, 100% true, happened about a decade ago. I’m still torn as to whether I’m proud or ashamed…

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The Disastrous Tale of a Creative Writing MFA Dropout

After college, I decided to pursue a graduate degree in creative writing and managed to get myself accepted into a…

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Advice from an Old Cranky Bastard — Want to Be Published in Print Someday?

This morning in my Medium.com feed, a story popped up that particularly interested me because the first seven…

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Keillor’s Salon Article on Whiny Writers

( — reposted from a collection of pre-2010 rants posted elsewhere.)

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He Said / She Said — The Problem with the Word “Said” in Dialogue

At some point in my writing life, the word “said” began to annoy me, and it’s only grown worse over the years. While…

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Does Writing Keep Getting Harder For You to Do? Maybe That’s Good News

There’s a great interview in Juxtapoz magazine in which David Molesky interviews painter Kerry James Marshall about his…

writingcooperative.com

Lord Byron, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Miley Cyrus — A Scary Thing They (and You) May Have in…

Want to know a strange-sounding topic that scares the holy hell out of me? Cryptomnesia.

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Write As Though There’s a Large Cash Prize at Stake

I’ve been busy lately moving some older blog pieces to Medium from a private blog. A few pieces, like the one below…

writingcooperative.com

Yes, You CAN Do It All — Be the Writer, Editor, Designer, Publisher, and Marketer of Your Book

I love the entire world of self-publishing — not that I’m the most experienced writer in the world. I’ve self-published…

writingcooperative.com

Quantity Versus Quality: Which Is The Better Goal for Writers?

I see so many articles lately offering advice on improving one’s output in terms of word count. Headlines abound with…

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Writers: Can Control+F Tell You That Your Language Is Boring?

How to leverage document search functions to identify weak language in your manuscripts.

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Help Develop Your Story by Envisioning Your Book’s Cover Design

Thinking visually about your story can reveal areas in need of attention

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Literary Agent Hunting Makes You Suddenly Hyper-Aware of Genre

Somehow, I wrote a novel without thinking about genre at all.

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Screen Writers: Why Not Get Some Mileage from Those Unmade Scripts?

Years ago, I put a ton of work into a Nicholl contest entry. The “Academy Nicholl Fellowships” is perhaps the most…

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Your Artistic Vision for Your Book Is Both Your Friend and Your Enemy

How writers get stuck in the visioning stage, and how to get unstuck

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Want to Get Paid Well for Writing?

Many jobs with titles different from “writer” are surprisingly focused on writing

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Favorite Musical Compositions:

“12–23” — Original Ragtime Piano Composition (with Sheet Music)

Opus 14, Composed October 2007. When my sister opened this up at Christmas (alongside my mother and father, who also…

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“The Violin” — Experimental Looping Composition

This was the first of a casual series of experimental, minimalist, electronic, ambient looping compositions done on an…

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“The Leveret, A Ragtime Fantasie” by Jim Dee (with Sheet Music)

The video above is a ragtime-based piece I’ve been working on called “The Leveret,” which I’ve orchestrated here for…

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“Dorothy and the Bird Circus” — An Original Ragtime Composition (with Sheet Music!)

Here’s a new ragtime work, “Dorothy and the Bird Circus,” composed on the (awful-but-barely-functional) piano in our…

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“The Real West” — An Original Ragtime Piano Composition (with Sheet Music)

Here’s a new ragtime project I’ve been working on this month. Unlike my previous video post, this one’s actual title…

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“Funeral for a Crow “— An Original String Quartet

Here’s a string quartet I’ve been writing lately. It’s structured in the classic ragtime format (4 themes, AABACCDD)…

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“Nightmare at the Darlings” — An Original Piece for Piano and Two Violins

For any friends harboring a curiosity for the aural intersection of classical and psychedelic, I present this new work…

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Favorite Word Write-Ups:

Retromingent: Urinating Backwards

… with a couple of bonus bass-ackward gems for your entertainment!

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Chaud-mellé: A Sudden, Unplanned, Intense, Heated Fray

… in which you might kill someone and not be punished for doing so.

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Protyle: The Original Stuff of the Universe, Before the Stars or Elements

Be it a dark, chaotic, formless void or a shimmering watery abyss, everyone imagined something there.

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Evanescence: The Process of Disappearing or Fading Away

…and now you know the meaning of the band name.

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Turlupin: A Kind of Mysterious, Feral, Heretical Nudist, of Sorts

Kind of like Eugene, Oregon, come to think of it.

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Twankle: The Sound of a Banjo

A kissing cousin of twang, perhaps.

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Oeillade: An Amorous Glance

From flirty, stolen glances to lecherous leering; lets discuss oeillades.

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Stichomancy: Divination via Random Passages in Books (esp. Verse).

Grab a book, flip it open, and see what’s in store!

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Ichor: Blood of the Gods or Blood-like Fluid (Literally or Figuratively)

The whole bloody tale, plus a new bonus word not in the OED!

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Comether: A Coaxing, To “Put One’s Comether On” Someone or Something

A curious old term, especially considering the usage.

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For a longer sample of how I write, there’s nothing more representative than my latest novel, CHROO. The book is available on Amazon.

✍🏻 Jim Dee maintains three blogs — Hawthorne Crow, Web Designer | Web Developer Magazine, and Wonderful Words, Defined — and contributes to various Medium pubs. Connect at JPDbooks.com, Amazon, FB, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Medium, or Jim [at] ArrayWebDevelopment.com. His latest screwball literary novel, CHROO, is a guaranteed good time, and he’d be delighted if you purchased a copy!

Hawthorne Crow

Tales, rants, observations — blog of Jim Dee, long-haired…

By Hawthorne Crow

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Jim Dee

Written by

Jim Dee

Web guy at ArrayWebDevelopment.com; author of books & blogs. See: JPDbooks.com.

Hawthorne Crow

Hawthorne Crow

Tales, rants, observations — blog of Jim Dee, long-haired smart ass, self-employed web developer, hyper-creative writer, musician, renaissance man, defiant, prone to philosophization, as-always a pyro, ever-frustrated cat owner, free agent, bandanna wearer.

Jim Dee

Written by

Jim Dee

Web guy at ArrayWebDevelopment.com; author of books & blogs. See: JPDbooks.com.

Hawthorne Crow

Hawthorne Crow

Tales, rants, observations — blog of Jim Dee, long-haired smart ass, self-employed web developer, hyper-creative writer, musician, renaissance man, defiant, prone to philosophization, as-always a pyro, ever-frustrated cat owner, free agent, bandanna wearer.

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