That Time I Sanctified Myself

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From: Kerr, Jim (FanMail @ SimpleMinds.com)
To: Dee, Jim( Jim @ ArrayWebDevelopment.com )
Sent: Friday, May 20, 2008 12:01 AM
Subject: RE: Clarifying Questions — “Sanctify Yourself”

Dear Jim,

I can tell from your urgent email that you’re a troubled young lad. As such, let me put your concerns to rest once and for all. You wrote to me:

“Dear Simple Minds: After many years of listening to your music, I finally took your advice and … well … (wow, this is tough to admit publicly) … well, I went ahead and sanctified myself. During the process, it was naturally quite exhilarating. However, afterward, I felt a little dirty, self-indulgent, and ashamed. Plus — and, this is the worst part — I think maybe my neighbor may have seen me sanctifying myself through the livingroom window. What should I do?”

Jim … To begin, it’s important for you to understand that sanctifying oneself is a natural thing. As my friend George Michael says, “Not everybody does it, but everybody should!” It’s certainly nothing to be embarrassed about. However, sanctifying yourself should ALWAYS be done in private (or, I suppose, in the company of one or more consenting adults). One should NEVER sanctify oneself, as you’ve said, in front of a living room window. (Ironically, you’ve created the proverbial “elephant in the living room.” While I’m all for openness, I suggest you simply go on with your life as though nothing happened. Sooner or later, your neighbor will repress the visual.)

I hope this advice helps clear the matter up for you. Please feel free to write back if you have additional questions.

And hey … Don’t you forget about me,
-Jim Kerr
Lead singer, Simple Minds


About the Author: Jim Dee maintains his personal blog, “Hawthorne Crow,” and a web design blog called “Web Designer | Web Developer Magazine.” He’s also contributes to various Medium.com publications. You can reach him at: Jim [at] ArrayWebDevelopment.com.