The CIA Monitors and Analyzes My Bejeweled Gaming Activity

… and now I can never visit Russia.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash. NOTE: This fictional work originally appeared on my Vocal.Media account, here.

I always suspected they were watching, as my frequent and fevered Bejeweled Blitz sessions routinely push the expected limits of gem-chasing intensity. Where newbie and casually mainstream players swipe at painfully obvious three-tile matches, aimlessly passing the hours of their simple lives, CIA analysis of my historic (and…