I Stopped Doing What Was Saving Me

Image by ChatGPT.

LEVERAGE ON WHAT WORKS

One thing I’ve learned in the last seven years of my life is this: leverage on what works.

I remember three years ago—I was battling mental illness. I hadn’t been diagnosed at the time, but now I have. Last year, I got diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder.

Back then, I was doing a lot of online courses. That habit, that hobby, was what kept me sane. It was what stimulated my mind. I was enjoying it. I’d finish one course, then hop on to the next, and so on. At some point, I began to question myself: Why am I doing this?

Sure, it was working for me. It was helping me stay sane. But still, I asked, What’s the point?

The truth is, what I was doing felt like mental masturbation. I was learning and learning, but not applying. And yes, that’s true—I wasn’t taking action. But looking back now, I should’ve kept going. If I had stayed consistent, it would’ve become second nature to me by now. It would’ve been easier today—now that I actually have the energy to apply what I’ve learned.

Back then, I didn’t have the energy to apply it. But if I’d kept learning, applying it now would’ve been smooth. I regret not leveraging what was working for me at the time.