Jan. 17: MLK Day Turned Into My Lil Kuz Day
Book with the 48-burger + Doncic flying SKY-HIGH + Miles dumping it on the NYK + One thing about each of the 12 GAMES!
Not a lot of word games to go with here, so it had to be Kuzzy leading the way. Don’t blame me, BLAME THE SILLY NAMES OF THE HOOPERS out there. Anyway. Kuz was good enough for me not to feel like forcing this, all things considered. It’s not that you put up a 15–16–4–1–3 baseline any and all days, is it? No, it’s not. See, it’s been 22 YEARS since we entered the XXI Century, and in the past 21-years-and-change, there have been as few as 209 performances of that caliber. And now one of those belongs to Kyle Kuzma.
I know, I know. It’s NOT THE MOST UNIQUE OF ACHIEVEMENTS but that’s until you check the minutes and you find out Kuz did his DAMAGE in just 29 MINUTES OF PLAYING TIME. Nobody and I mean nobody had done that in the last 30+ years of NBA ball. You have to go all the way back to Nov. 30 1991 to find some David Robinson Shark doing it in those exact 29 rounds of the clock against the Defunct Supersonics. Jeez that FLYING TIME.
Rarefied Air for Kuzma, who since leaving the Lakers is THRIVING for an actual contending team that is coming off defeating the 76ers in MLK and is now sitting eighth in the East with a .523 record next to it compared to the INCONCLUSIVE LAKERS’ .500 on the year. WINNINGEST of moves by Kuz.
- NOLA at BOS —Schroder leading the C’s in minutes with 41… yet Brother Jonas was the man of the day thanks to his bulky 22–14–4 dub-dubbing line. Imagine if Boston had Ingram (15–10) instead of Tatum and/or Brown. Ooffff…
- CHA at NYK—The Knicks were so BAD that for a minute Obi Toppin looked like the best player out there… and he had like seven points and one board. Not that he improved a lot finishing with an 11–6. Miles Bridges DUNKED ON SPIKE LEE’S FOREHEAD and then some with a tasty 38–12–5–1–1 and a 70% accuracy from the floor as the Hornets got the W without LaMelo Ball.
- PHI at WAS—No Em-bii-P on a cold Monday, I’m afraid.
- BKN at CLE—Durant out for 4–6 weeks sucks too much, but at least we’ll get to watch Kyrie play in 11 of the next 16 Nets games until we reach the AS weekend. I get that Brooklyn without KD just doesn’t bring the FULL BKN EXPERIENCE, but Kyrie and Harden should always be enough to defeat the Cavs or whoever steps in front of the Black & White squad. Garland putting up 22–6–12–2 lines these days with folks not even batting a single eye. JESUS.
- CHI at MEM—Ayo! Dosunmu tried to spoil the Griz Party but… NO LUCK, because JA. Morant with the solid 25-pop effort leading all scorers tying with teammate Desmond Bean Bane while dethroning the Bulls. Steven Adams, though, gets the game’s MVP award for carrying fools like toddlers.
- IND at LAC—The Pacers are “willing” to trade Myles Turner for a COUPLE of first-round picks AND a youngin. I mean, it’s all good, G’s. And that’s considering Indy sees Domantas Sabonis as the actual more valuable player of the two big men. Dawgs, calm down for a minute. Also: give me Turner for that price YESTERDAY. Also, also: Sabonis Jr. with another empty-calorie, impactless double-double in Indiana’s losing effort. Can’t get it right, our mate.
- MIL at ATL—Atlanta is straight outside of the play-in, let alone postseason contention. That won’t change, YET THEY DUMPED 121 ON MILLY, snatched a W, and kept building a nonsensical resume of a campaign. Trae, Khris, Giannis, and Bobby Portis were great, but that’s always expected. What about De’Andre Hunter and his FANCY 20–9–2 line with a block even shooting just 35% from the floor? Gotta love that 6-for-6 at the stripe, too.
- POR at ORL—Tank WAR between two rebuilding franchises if only because of Lillard’s injury woes. CJ was good for 28 minutes and 16 pops. Nurk kept his value at its peak with a 21–22–2–4–2 (OUTLIER SPOTTED!), and Portland won the game. What more do yall need in the PDX to finally break this thing? Seriously.
- TOR at MIA—Close game between two of the best NBA Finalists of the past five years. Everybody felt good and that’s why NINE players total shot 12+ shots while all of them finished with FG% at or above 33% and at least 14 points on the day. Miami got the better of the Raps and went to bed as the East no. 2 seed. The Conference reads Chicago > Miami > BKN > Cleveland as I’m typing this. Surely not how you expected this the 2022 Year of our Lord to look like, am I right?
- OKC at DAL—The Mavs want to trade for Myles Turner without exchanging Kristaps in that move. See, it’s WORKING in Cleveland… but it’s not going to do so in Dallas. Move on, Cuban, nothing to gain on that front. Luka with the 20–11–12–3–3 and the 23.5% from the field is just TOO GOOD to be true, isn’t it? DOUGHY line, SHIRATAKI-like shooting.
- PHO at SAS—Poor Pop never stood a chance. Book getting back to the GOOD OLD DAYS with the 48 POPS (no pun intended) on a very bright day for the still-young Dev. Dejounte brought the floppy disk. BISMACK B with the 17–14-nothing-else dub-dub hitting 8-of-10 field goal attempts starting in Ayton’s place.
- UTA at LAL—The slate had to close with the Lake Show, right? Like if we don’t have enough Lakers Exceptionalism already going on, now this. Poor Gobert will need a VERY SERIOUS break after getting HYDRO-DUNKED-ON by Russ. Three swats for the Croissant, but this thing SURE AIN’T ONE.
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