Entering Into Lament
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15)
For the past month, I have focused on prayer, thanksgiving, and gratitude, but recently, several people I care deeply for have gone through some “Dark Clouds,” which brought my mind back to the book “Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy.”
I am a little behind in my reading, so for today, I just want to explore the topic of entering into lament with others. So often, as Christians, we keep a distance between ourselves and other people’s pain…I’ve seen it…I’ve done it.
Perhaps it is because we don’t know what to say or how to handle the intensity of the emotions. Perhaps we don’t feel like we have the emotional capacity to handle any more pain on top of what we are already experiencing.
I once held a dear lady from our church during a Thanksgiving Praise Service who had lost her husband suddenly from COVID-19 and was left to raise three teenagers on her own. She wept openly, and people were visibly uncomfortable with her grief. I encouraged her to pour her heart out to the Lord, but even that was not entering into her lament.
What does it look like to enter into someone else’s lament? It is not sending a card and flowers when someone dies. It is not telling someone that you are praying for them. It is not telling them that if they need anything, please reach out. Can you see how all of those things continue to keep a distance from the person’s pain and yourself?
Let me go back to my example of the lady from my church. Lamenting with her would have looked like me sitting down with her (regardless of who was watching) and encouraging her to pour her heart out to God with me.
A burden shared is a burden halved. Sometimes, we need a Compassionate Observer to enter into our grief with us, guide us toward our Compassionate Savior, and encourage us to pour out our grief and questions with candor to Him.
The Lord is always with us, but during times of intense emotional grief and pain, it is sometimes challenging to get gut-level honest with God. We often need someone to help us move through the pain.
It is OK to pray for someone and with them, but the most healing thing we can do is encourage them to pray to God with us…to pour out their hearts and questions to Him without fear of shame for having them.
That kind of vulnerability is scarce but very much needed. When we are in agony, we need to be reminded of who God is, how much He cares for us, and His promises.
I did not do that with my dear friend, yet the Lord was faithful to comfort her. He is ALWAYS faithful. He is the GOD OF ALL COMFORT.
As I think about the people I care about going through deep waters, I want to show up differently for them. I want to be there with them. I want to enter into their lament and be the one who reminds them of the promises of God.
How about you? Are you willing to enter into someone else’s pain and be with them as they pour their hearts out to God with candor? What would our churches be like if more people comforted the brokenhearted in that way?
What will you do?
