He Knows Me
“O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down. And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.” (Psalm 139)
I am still meditating on Psalm 139, as this chapter has so much rich goodness. Last week, I focused on verse 14, but this week I went back to the beginning and started focusing there.
In this chapter, David (the author) expresses awe that God knew him, even to the minutest detail. At the beginning of this chapter, David sets the stage for talking about the other ways that the Lord knew him.
Today, I am focusing my attention on verses 1–6.
Verse 1 — “O Lord, You have searched me and know me.” This verse is extremely interesting to me because when I think about my interactions with people, especially as a trauma survivor, there are things that I don’t tell people (unless I am super close to them). Some people pretend to be something that they aren’t and become very anxious when people get closer to them because they might be found out that they aren’t who they made themselves out to be.
But this verse says that the Lord searched all of me and knows every part of me…even the parts I have yet to discover. As a trauma survivor, I still have gaps in my memory…things that my brain will not allow me to remember because it is trying to keep me safe. But God knows all those things, and that knowledge does not deter Him from still loving us. How many of us have said, “If so and so knew this about me, they wouldn’t like me”?
Trust me, I used to think that way about my trauma. I used to think that if people knew I was sexually abused, they wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. But that is not the case with God. He knows everything I’ve been through in my lifetime because He has been with me my whole life. Think about that. Like verses 13–16 talk about…when I was a zygote in my mother’s body, He was there. While I was developing within my mother’s womb, He was there. When I was born, He was there. When I went through the abuse, He was there.
Verse 2 — “You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.” To me, this verse says He knows all my ups and downs. I know it is talking about sitting down and standing up, but the language is very visual to me. He understands all my thoughts even before I’ve had a chance to think them. Not only does He know what they are, but He understands them. I don’t even understand my own thoughts half the time, but God does.
Verse 3 — “You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.” This next verse is extremely interesting to me because of the differences between the NKJV and the KJV. The KJV uses the word “compassest” instead of the word comprehend, meaning to winnow or blow a current of air through (grain) to remove the chaff. This is saying that He removes all the worthless things from our path and from our rest. He is familiar with all my ways.
Verse 4 — “For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.” There is nothing I say that the Lord is not aware of…which makes me really grateful that He is a forgiving God because I can say some really stupid stuff sometimes.
Sometimes in our lives, we feel like no one understands us or knows what we are going through, but that’s NOT true because God does. He understands us through and through. He even understands the parts that we don’t understand yet. Let the truth of that sink in a moment.
There may be times when we experience shame about things that have been done to us or by us, but the Lord knows all about those things…AND He still loves us and cares for us. We can go to Him with all those things. We can bring our groanings to Him, and He will understand us perfectly. He gets us.
I am so thankful to have a God who knows me intimately and still loves me…warts and all. How about you? Do you know Him? Would you like to? I would count it a privilege to tell you all about Him.
Email me at cyndi@cyndibennettconsulting.com if you want to know more.
