The Journaling Challenge
This month’s spiritual blog has been focused on prayer and chock full of challenges. We started with a challenge to pray corporately; then, we moved to the topic of gratitude, followed by a Thanksgiving challenge. Now, I am going to extend another challenge to you on the topic of prayer and it is related to journaling.
In the first blog, The Prayer Challenge, I shared my process for praying during the month of prayer via my e-God journal (electronic OneNote journal). Today, I want to challenge you to get a pen and notebook (I use a spiral notebook) out and create a spiritual journaling habit.
I used to do this all the time, but I got away from it when I entered therapy and started sharing my journal with my therapist. Inviting her into my personal time with the Lord seemed too personal, so I sterilized my journal by making it a place to capture my thoughts instead of sharing my heart with the Lord.
I regret that decision very much. It is so easy to get in your own head when you are journaling, to the point where you start keeping everyone out of your thoughts…including the Lord. Take my word for it: that is not healthy.
I can easily swirl around in my thoughts and meditate on things that are untrue when there is no one else to hold me accountable. It’s not that the Lord isn’t with me all the time; He is, but when I drift away from Him, He doesn’t always chase me. Sometimes, He allows me to drift and feel the distance between the two of us. As someone with severe attachment wounds that extend to the Lord, any distance between us seems unbearable.
While I like having an e-God journal because it is good for doing Bible study and meditation, I use my computer for so many things that I can easily get distracted when journaling and jump on Google to research something that just came to my mind.
Having a paper journal provides a singular purpose for me. Just like when I put my noise-canceling headphones on when I write, picking up the pen and paper journal signals my brain that it is time to focus on sharing my heart with the Lord. There is something somatic and primal that happens in my brain when I write with a pen or even a pencil.
I am at the point in my walk with the Lord that surface-level prayers and distracted communication does not satisfy my soul…I need/want something deeper than that. I don’t want a casual relationship with the Lord. While He is my God and Savior, He is also my best friend. I know I can tell Him anything, and He will always love me. I never have to fear being rejected by Him because He promises never to leave me nor forsake me.
So, during this Month of Prayer, I committed to go back to my pen and notebook journaling to the Lord each night…and sometimes in the middle of the night. Will you join me?
