The Power of Reframing Failure
I attended a training this week during which we were asked what we would like to be celebrating a year from now…in our lives, businesses, families, etc. I was particularly focused on growing my business and on the wellness journey that I’ve been on for the past five years.
I wrote down a couple of things, but they were more of a wish list of dreams that didn’t feel like a reality to me. However, one of the ladies in our breakout session actually stepped into the future and manifested it as if she were talking about today as one year in the past…if that makes any sense. I was totally amazed by that, but I also noticed something interesting in my own internal system…resistance.
I noticed the resistance in my system with curiosity and thought, “Wow, isn’t that interesting that doing that feels threatening to me? I wonder what that is all about.”
In last night’s journaling session, I rehearsed what I was experiencing with the Lord, especially as it related to my wellness journey. I wrote down what I was hearing my system say. Some of the noise was related to protecting me from disappointment if my “dreams” didn’t come true. I get that. However, some of the noise was related to fear of failure. This part of myself brought back all the memories of the times I tried to crack the nut of losing weight and achieving my wellness goals, but I failed to see the results I was looking for.
When I heard the word “failed,” a quote from Nelson Mandela immediately came to my mind. He said, “I never lose. I either win, or I learn.” Wow!!! As a result of that powerful reframe, I could look back at my prior attempts to lose weight and achieve my wellness goals as learnings rather than failures.
It was so powerful for me! My question then became, “What did I learn through those previous attempts?” My vision and thinking cleared immediately from the dissociation I was experiencing due to the “shame of failure.” Instead, I was free to explore what I learned due to those experiences. I could see how previous learning led to the next step of the journey.
I immediately thought of my coaching clients, who also struggle with shame related to past “failures” in the workplace. I wondered out loud what it would be like for them if they could grasp this powerful reframe for themselves. What if they saw each “failure” as a learning opportunity? What if they saw that as part of the journey? What if they could see how past learning experiences informed their next step? Wow!!!
Isn’t that how the Lord works in our lives, too? I’ve learned over the years that the Lord uses EVERYTHING and wastes NOTHING. He uses every experience to help us grow and develop toward His goal for us to be like His Son.
I am going to meditate on that and apply it to other areas of my life/memories related to “failure.” I look forward to seeing how this reframe will inform the next step in my journey to be like Christ.
I would love to hear your thoughts about this powerful reframe of failure. Tell me in the comments below.
