Walkabout with God
Learning to tune in to God’s rhythm
I am writing this blog from my car (my husband is driving) on our way to Maine from Charlotte, NC. Yes, that is a long trip, but we are moving my daughter there for her first “adult” job. I have a lot of mixed emotions that I’ve been trying to sort out for a few weeks now.
Of course, I am really proud of her for stepping out and launching her adult life, but I will also miss her. We have gotten closer over this past year, as we have both been in trauma therapy. With my severe attachment wounds, I have been working on letting her in and connecting with her emotionally, and it has been a really special time for us… I’m sad that this season is over.
Connecting with people is one of the main challenges of complex PTSD. I am getting better at it, but it remains a challenge. Learning to connect with anyone, even God, is a challenge. Recently, I stumbled upon a new-to-me self-care routine that has helped me connect to God. I call it my walkabout with God.
As a retired triathlete, my walking and running routines were all about moving fast, improving my cardio fitness, and generally beating my body until it cried…no pain, no gain was a real mantra for me at once. But my walkabout is different.
It started as just trying to move my body because moving your body is good for your mental/physical health. I would start my walk moving fast because my internal system and mind were usually agitated, but as I walked around my neighborhood, sharing with God all the things on my mind/heart, I noticed that my pace got slower and slower. I wasn’t tired, but I noticed that the slower I went, the more my internal system aligned with the rhythm of God’s creation surrounding me. My soul became quieter the slower I walked.
My walk became less about exercise and more about meditation. It was so soothing to my soul. I began craving that time with the Lord. It would settle my soul like nothing else except for rocking in a rocking chair.
It occurred to me that this type of slow, bilateral movement simulates the EMDR that my therapist and I utilize in therapy. While the movement is soothing to my soul, I found that the time I spend with the Lord on those walks is like having therapy every day. The Lord is an amazing counselor, and He is always available. I love my therapist, but she is not available when I need someone to talk to in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep…she’s not supposed to be.
If you struggle with dysregulation, as I do, I highly recommend trying this walkabout with God. It is amazing. You can actually feel your body starting to relax as you slow down your pace, and there comes a time when you feel like you are one with God/nature. It is amazing.
As trauma survivors, it is important for us to share the things that have worked for us with other survivors. Let me know in the comments below if you have other tips and tricks that have helped you with dysregulation.
As always, my friends, we are in this together. We do not have to walk this path alone. If you want to stay informed on the programs, tools, and training I offer, sign up for my mailing list.
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