Can oversized people be handsome?

Robert Pauker
Health & Fitness Odyssey
6 min read5 days ago

I remember sitting in a coffee shop once, scrolling through social media, when I came across a post that made me stop mid-sip. It was a picture of a guy — he was big, no question about it, but the caption underneath read, “You can’t be handsome if you’re oversized.” I almost spit out my coffee. I mean, really? Have we still not moved past this ridiculous idea that beauty only comes in one size? Here’s the truth, plain and simple: oversized people can absolutely be handsome.

In fact, I’ve known a lot of big guys who have charisma for days, the kind of smile that lights up a room, and a sense of style that would put most to shame. To say that only people who are lean, muscular, or “fit” are attractive is not only shallow — it’s just flat-out wrong.

Beauty Comes in All Shapes and Sizes

We live in a world that’s obsessed with image. Everywhere you turn, there are ads, movies, and social media influencers pushing the idea that beauty is one thing: thin, toned, and flawless. But let’s get real. Beauty is so much more than that. It’s in the way you carry yourself, how you treat others, and the confidence you radiate. And, believe me, oversized people can radiate beauty like nobody’s business.

But while it’s important to embrace the fact that handsome comes in all sizes, we can’t ignore the other side of the story: health. This is where body positivity sometimes walks a tricky line. Don’t get me wrong — body positivity is a beautiful, empowering movement. It’s all about rejecting toxic beauty standards and embracing who you are, regardless of what society says. It’s about owning your body and saying, “I’m good as I am.”

But there’s also something to be said about loving yourself enough to want to take care of your health. It’s easy to fall into the trap of using body positivity as a shield, a way to avoid having tough conversations about weight and health. Sometimes people lean too hard into the “I’m fine just the way I am” mantra, even when they know deep down their health is at risk. And the truth is, carrying too much body fat can come with some serious risks.

Why Too Much Body Fat Can Be Dangerous (With a Side of Humor)

Let’s not sugarcoat it — well, maybe we could, but that’d kind of be counterproductive. There are real dangers that come with too much body fat, and it’s important to talk about them. But don’t worry, I’ll keep it light, because this is a conversation we need to have, and a little humor never hurt anyone.

1. Heart Trouble — And not the romantic kind. When you carry extra weight, your heart has to work overtime, like it’s doing double shifts with no coffee breaks. This increases your risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, and even a heart attack. Basically, if you don’t want your heart to turn into a grumpy old man muttering about how hard it has to work, keeping an eye on your weight is a good idea.

2. Diabetes — The Unwanted Guest — Having too much body fat is like sending an open invitation to type 2 diabetes. And trust me, diabetes is not the kind of houseguest you want. It’s messy, hard to live with, and overstays its welcome. Keeping your weight in check can help keep this unwelcome guest from moving in permanently.

3. Joint Problems — The Creaky Knee Club— Carrying extra weight is like strapping a backpack full of bricks onto your body every day. Your joints — especially your knees and hips — will start creaking and complaining about all the extra work. If you want to avoid joining the Creaky Knee Club too soon, shedding a few pounds can really help.

4. Sleep Apnea — The Snore Monster — Excess body fat, especially around your neck, can lead to sleep apnea. Basically, your airway gets blocked while you sleep, and you end up snoring like a freight train and waking up gasping for breath. Not only is it dangerous, but your partner might start investing in noise-canceling headphones. A little weight loss can keep the Snore Monster at bay.

5. Lower Energy — The “I’m-Always-Tired” Syndrom— Ever notice how carrying extra weight makes you feel sluggish? It’s like your body’s operating on dial-up internet when it should be running on fiber optics. Fatigue, low energy, and feeling like you need a nap just to make it through the day can often be linked to too much body fat. Drop a few pounds, and suddenly, you might find yourself bouncing off the walls like a toddler with too much sugar.

Now, don’t get me wrong — none of this means you have to turn into a fitness guru who eats kale chips for every meal (honestly, does anyone even enjoy kale?). But it does mean that being aware of the risks of carrying too much weight is important. It’s about finding that balance between loving your body and wanting to take care of it. After all, you wouldn’t own a sports car and never take it in for maintenance, right? Your body deserves the same kind of attention and care.

Body Positivity Doesn’t Mean Ignoring Health

Body shaming is awful — let’s just get that out of the way. It’s cruel, unnecessary, and does nothing but tear people down. Nobody has the right to judge someone else’s appearance, especially when they don’t know their story. Criticizing someone for their weight isn’t going to motivate them; it’s just going to hurt them. So, if you’re the kind of person who feels the need to comment on someone else’s size, kindly zip it.

At the same time, we need to be careful not to let body positivity become a shield that keeps us from addressing real health issues. It’s totally okay to love yourself at any size — being big doesn’t make you any less handsome or beautiful. But self-love also means taking care of yourself, and that sometimes means facing the hard truths about your health.

Exercising, eating well, and maintaining a healthy weight isn’t about trying to fit into some ridiculous societal mold of what “handsome” or “beautiful” looks like. It’s about feeling good, having energy, and living a long, healthy life. You can be big and handsome — no doubt about that — but you also want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself along the way.

Conclusion: Confidence + Health = True Handsomeness

Oversized people can absolutely be handsome. Handsomeness is about so much more than fitting into some narrow definition of beauty. It’s about how you carry yourself, how you treat others, and the confidence you radiate. But loving yourself also means caring for your health.

So, embrace who you are, love the skin you’re in, and if you feel like making a few changes to improve your health, that’s great too. Handsome comes in all shapes and sizes, and nothing’s more attractive than someone who’s confident, happy, and taking care of themselves — whether they’re big, small, or somewhere in between.

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Robert Pauker
Health & Fitness Odyssey

Father, Grandfather, Husband, licensed Nutritionist, love to live a healthy lifestyle. Founder of the ShapeShift Academy www.shapeshift-academy.com