LAST FRIGGIN DRY DAY.

It’s been 30 days without booze meaning we’re in the HOME STRETCH here. And boy am I looking forward to tomorrow. And all of February, which is pretty much bound to be a total shitshow.

Case study of last weekend: Friday, post-work, my boy and I gymmed, ate a ton of chinese food, went home, and made it to the club by around midnight. The club was pretty fun still, but after like dancing for an hour and getting hit on by a pair of drunk bros in front of my boyfriend no less, it was like hmm there is nothing new to do here. When you’re getting drunk, the party actually *changes* over the course of time that you’re there. If you’re sober, you can pretty much “experience” all you’re gonna experience in about 15-20 minutes. So we went home just before 2. I don’t think I’ve ever spent less than two hours clubbing in my LIFE before. Saturday was spent doing activities that were actually super fun, but would have undeniably been more fun on any number of drugs.

As far as benefits? We have struggled to come up with ANY other than the fact that yes, we are technically NOT HUNG OVER on the weekend. Even that has its downsides, it turns out. During hangovers, I am able to guilt-free: 1) indulge in food to self-medicate, and 2) lounge in bed until 5 PM. Now on Sundays I wake up with an anxious nervous energy that I tackle by going on long runs, which makes me exhausted, hmm, much like a hangover???

Time: I have absolutely NO IDEA where the extra time went. I think I was having a continual panic attack the entire time I would have been drunk.

Calories: I didn’t lose any weight. In fact, I gained one pound, which is negligible in the world of daily fluctuation, period hormones, etc. But my abs look a little better, I think??

Proving I can do it: Well, I did it. Zero falters. Hooray I don’t need rehab?

Resetting my tolerance: I’ll let you be the judge of how this went, tomorrow night. Please do not feed me shots.

So in conclusion, not drinking for a month in your mid-twenties: It’s possible, it’s horrible, now let’s never do this again. Kind of sad, I was all ready to be like, “Well that was enlightening, I have new perspective on my partying lifestyle, I think I’ll do Dry January every year to detox myself and start the year off right.”

NOPE.