What Happens When Sensitive People Eat Magic Mushrooms?
The obvious disclaimer, though plant medicine is transcending the past belief that they are ‘drugs’ and are now being used in the West for their true purpose, healing, you still need to approach all of this with a lot of understanding and awareness. It can be a lot to put your body through but if you find a little system that works for you, it’s an incredibly powerful healing experience. Know the source, love your setting, and surrender.
I have been told a number of times that I am a Starseed from a particularly blue place, and an empath, which has now been integrated into my life and whatnot—but the point of this is, that we all react differently to plant medicines and if there is another sensitive soul out there looking to try some Mushroom healing, then this little article might be for you. You may believe in “bad trips” or you’ve heard war stories of overdosing, but, I have another theory…as a Starseed, I think you naturally know that you need to walk through the shadows before you step into the light. You are so vulnerable in your everyday life that you become unaware of just how much energy you sponge simply by being alive. Something I did not know for the majority of my life. This is akin to carrying around weights wrapped all around your body and something in you knows that if you want to float into the sky then you need to release that weight first. That weight is what we call shadow. Heavy frequencies that make up the majority of how we all feel right now.
Light-workers, Starseeds, Empaths, whichever the category—we are sensitive creatures by design. Our nervous system can feel the world, and in turn, we can hold ourselves in a lower density without even realizing it. We are so aware of our physical sensory system that taking the leap back to the cosmic part of who we are can be quite a task. It’s like learning that you are not one river but the river is in fact two streams intermingled into one and you need to learn how to untangle them from time to time. Plants affect everyone in such vastly different ways but today is for the emotional sensory types because we may experience plants a little differently than most when we detach from our intense physical sensory systems and attempt to swim off into the abyss of the electric realms.
I grew up in Oregon where mushrooms grown in the wild. We even have a sign at our local park that asks us nicely not to pick the medicinal mushrooms that grow in the grass. This is nature. A gift for humanity to walk the path from outer world to inner world. I never took mushrooms until much later as my spiritual journey unfolded. I always saw them as drugs and was scared of what might happen when I let go of my own mind. Well, that is the whole point, isn’t it? I even asked a Shaman how they become acclimated to this daunting process with all the Ayahuasca they consume and she said,
“I always face Ego Death just like everyone else. I have only learned how to accept this fear for each and every single ceremony I have done. Thousands of moments standing at the edge of darkness, stepping off with surrender and love. Trusting the plant to guide me and to be of service, just like you.”
I am currently in a small town in the mountains of Thailand. I wanted to take mushrooms as a more profound healing experience. A channel in Oregon spoke to my guides who said, “Tell him to take Entheogens!” and when I asked why, they said, “It will just POP things open in your body.” And that it did. This feeling of being blocked is actually true. I am. My physical body is not tuned and adjusted to make these connections, so I wanted some help.
I wanted to follow a more medicinal path and got 3 grams (again, I have only micro-dosed and taken around 2.5 grams once or twice, and, I am wildly sensitive to plants so 3 grams for me may be like 5 for someone else.) How this path works for you can only come through experimentation. Generally, 3+ grams is supposed to activate a more permanent healing process than micro-dosing, which I love for emotional healing. I am not living in an Ego state trying to get right to the hero’s dose of 5+. I want this to become a gentle process for all of humanity so we can heal our own shadows and our ancestral shadows (which are quickly coming into the awareness of the collective.) The head wants to dominate and win but the heart appreciates life when it happens little by little. Increasing doses when you really need to purge and transform and then back to micro-dosing for a constant nurturing of your ability to access a euphoric state of life. Finding your uncomfortable comfort levels. Golden Teacher versus PE and so on. Either way, I never get to the fun part without walking right into the soul-shattering sadness.
This has now become a very noticeable pattern. Some people eat some mushrooms and giggle, paint, and bask in the sun. That does not happen for me. Not in the beginning. No matter the dose, it always starts in shadow work. To the point where I can actually take a little mushrooms the day before if I were to be joining a friend the following day, to allow the emotional processing to move through, and then my body signals that it’s ready. I cannot eat mushrooms without walking through darkness first. It just does not happen. I believe this is what people refer to as a ‘bad trip.’ A state of shadow work and healing being perceived as bad because it’s not fun. This is a staple of our society. We want the reward and we want to avoid the darkness. Perhaps we have been doing this wrong all along? I seem to be incapable of simply going around and have to walk right in. This was the same for Ayahuasca in the middle of the jungle and the same thing happened when I did a Kambo session with some lovely ladies in Studio City. The only time this doesn’t happen for me is straight DMT. I just pierce the veil right away and have full cosmic coherence and grounding at the same time. 15 minutes in and out. (Easily the most exciting thing I have ever witnessed as a human.)
Mushrooms are a lot easier to understand and work with for me in the long term because you don’t need to push it until you feel ready. I don’t always measure the micro-dose, I just take a small bite. When I micro-dose for emotional purging, I eat a small amount (slightly above the recommended dose,) lay on the bed in child’s pose, and allow my abdomen to release everything it’s holding. Everything I can feel, which is, everything. It usually lasts around 45 minutes. I never really get too far into the higher-minded state but it does an amazing job with emotional clearing—and it’s gentle. Then, I can literally get right up and go about my day while carrying a little extra bliss along with me. I am literally lighter in frequency and more loving because my heart center has been re-energized.
This time, I wanted to push myself a little further into more permanent transformations. Yesterday I rented a beautiful little bungalow over the rice fields. I closed the curtains and sat in a long meditation. I wanted to alert my body that this was a spiritual journey, not an outward reward. I started with one gram and ate another gram every 25 minutes until all three grams were consumed. After about 2 hours the mushrooms began to hit—very hard. I was off into the shadow work. I spent most of the day between showers and lying in bed. Tears, thoughts, and feelings of being completely alone, failures, the fears I have of survival, all swimming in an uncontrollable state. The amount of hidden fear we carry over work and money is astounding—and unnecessary. I don’t try to force myself to ‘feel better’ or run out into nature to save me with her epic gentleness, I just swim right into the middle of it, curtains closed, game on.
This went on for a few hours. I was a puddle. Sometimes I felt like physically purging even though nothing came out, which I learned from Ayahuasca, is still coming out even as air or energy. It’s a release just the same and somewhat deeper than the physical purge of food and toxins. This kind of purge is the trapped molecules of shadow that were deeply embedded in your body and an entire pulse of sadness can be the size of a grain of salt. Mentally you are purging too. A release from the attachment to your stories, your physical sensations, your loops of comfort, and your desire to stay safe. It is a state of complete surrender. You are fine, you don’t feel fine, but you are.
After about 4 hours I was done with the shadow work. Mentally and physically, emotionally drained, but the mushrooms kept going. I knew that this was a teacher and I was in surrender to it. It would not last forever but it was here now and no matter what my mind was doing, it was healing wounds and programs in my body even if my mind was unaware of it. In all the despair I was able to feel gratitude and thanked the plants amid snot and tears and nakedness on the bathroom floor under the lukewarm shower. Let the spiritual surgeons do their work. Dump the lower frequencies and clear them from the body. So, as a Starseed, I need to ‘dump density’ before I get to swim in the ocean of bliss. Every—single—time.
As the mushrooms finished their shadow work, the world gradually stepped into euphoria. Not a high that you get from ‘drugs’ but a euphoria that is something inherent in us already. It’s where the Gods live. A higher mental state that gives you access to the cosmic highways. I could travel at will. I saw dead bodies, destruction, how we have treated each other. It was all so horrifying really, but as a whole we have just moved on instead of truly standing with it and healing so a lot of this is still in our molecules in the here and now. But notice, I was now passed my own pain and experiencing pain itself as it’s shared by all of us. I was already closer to unity.
I understood that my pain is all pain and all pain is my pain, so I went to have a look at our shared pain. I went back in time and inserted myself in a Nazi camp. First I was an officer and felt what they felt while doing these horrible acts of darkness, confused and terrified. Then I became a person in the death chambers. I felt them, saw them, became them, and then comforted them as best I could. Assuring them that we were so close to waking up and this part would be hard but it would be over soon. I jumped through the universe to numerous historical moments, not to see them mentally, but to feel them and understand our pain and destruction. I can’t release it all until I truly understand it and feel it. After I was a witness to our pain, then I rose up into the cosmos as I released it through knowledge and awareness by way of deep empathy. Suddenly, I understood how channeling works, how the Pineal gland and hypothalamus work together, almost to say that all we need to learn how to do is to make those two inner glands kiss using breathwork and meditation, and that kiss opens the doorway with the DMT that is already there as fuel. This is not a state of imagination. You don’t need to imagine anything, this is a very physical process and you simply allow it to become real and it does. You are a divine creator once again.
As I slowly came back into my physical body, I looked outside and saw the vibrant abundance of the world around us. This has now been about 5 hours or so of staying inside focusing on the inward journey through the hard parts. (It is also in this moment of reawakening that my body says, “You can take more if you want and we would stay in this state” but that was not the point of this journey.) I got up and went for a walk and of course, the world was something unlike anything we are used to seeing. You can’t remember seeing the world like this, feeling it. Resonating with it. The closest memory I had to this feeling was when I was 5 years old and you still hold a lot of 5d consciousness. Ego hasn't taken over your perceptions yet. It’s a return to where you came from before you got here. This is life in euphoria. It’s not a high, it’s a higher state of being. A state that shows us our own human potential. A teaser of what it would be like to combine your outward self with your inward divinity. You have activated your higher mind and your heart in full surrender. A harmony between the masculine/feminine, light and dark, outward and inward. From here our duality becomes very clear, we strive not for a state of happiness, to live in moksha, but to find the center. The salty and the sweet. A world in bittersweet. This is our purpose in the Age of Aquarius. To be in both places at once. To raise our body’s potential to hold higher frequencies so we can bring our soul into our body for the first time in human existence. At least now it’s accessible to the masses and we are all going to do this together.
It’s incredible to know that these mushrooms simply activate a part of us we can find through yoga and meditation. Breathing techniques like Kapalbhati and the 8 limbs that Krishna pointed us to. Devotion to a life of love over devotion to a life of self-gain and survival. It was there all along, from Jesus and Mary (Mariamne) to Buddha and the Emerald Tablets, Activate your heart, they screamed from the mountain tops. A simple path: Open our hearts and then learn to live in heart/mind coherence.
“As above so below, as within so without”
— the answer key, represented in the shape of the ‘holy cross.’ Ground yourself on Earth, then align with your spirit back in the stars, then unite the two parts in your heart center. A mind of its own. Remember, your head has a 3-foot magnetic field and your heart has a 6-foot field. Which one do you think is more powerful? Your heart center is very wise and limitless with abundance. We have all been struggling to activate our heart centers since the beginning of time. That is all by design. Your head is self and your heart is unity and we all started as a self and it’s okay to seek some natural help along the way. Don’t forget, in very ancient research you will find that a boy named Yeshua seemed to be fond of a certain tea that he gave out to people around him. What was in that tea? Let’s just say it was of the Earthly flavor of what seems to resemble a very rustic-tasting plant from the forest.
Why did I take more instead of my gentle emotional clearing sessions? Higher doses are a path to finding ego disillusionment. A moment to remember who you really are by releasing who you think you are. One could make a case that if you are truly honoring this plant then you will always want to walk through the shadows before you get to bliss. The release of your pain and your stories. As they say, the farther you can crouch down into darkness, the more you load your legs as you bend down into shadow work, the higher you will jump into the light. So, we are really seeing opposing perspectives of the same spectrum. All of you from the shadow to the light. From there you can learn how to find the center of your physical reality and your divine electric soul. (Hint…4th Chakra)
Small doses are bliss boosters but they don’t bring up as much shadow, or as much clearing, which can be very gentle for a more long-term approach. Larger doses do a lot more clearing and a lot more rewiring, or, an unraveling of who you think you are. You will easily notice that if you are obsessed with who you are, mushrooms break you down into an open-minded space and we simply fill it right back up with our previous files instead of creating new ones. If we want to break patterns this is super helpful, but to make them stick—we actually have to try new patterns right away before our old patterns fall back into place. Remember, when you take a larger dose of mushrooms you can scramble your permanent patterns, you essentially break them open. This is where depression and PTSD are being healed, you are breaking the patterns. After a mushroom journey, you awaken with a fresh slate. What you do from here is everything. You have an empty mental closet and you can refill your closet with the same exact clothes you always wore before or you can walk out into the world naked and figure it out in the now. Meaning: If you go back to your routines they will try to reattach themselves in your mind. If you decide to make changes, those changes can be everlasting.
I will never see mushrooms as something recreational, but I do not judge those that do. I feel them deeply as a gift so we can get a glimpse into our soul realms and a remembrance of who we truly are. A marker of what is possible simply through yoga and meditation. Fascinating really.
Be gentle with plants, be sincere, and be honest with them. They are listening and they love you. They love you so much it might hurt a bit but is that any different from going to the doctor and getting surgery? No. This is spiritual surgery and on the other end, you find a state of euphoria that will eventually build up enough in your physical system to engage this state as an always while feeling completely grounded in the beauty that is. You will learn how to go from outward to cosmos at will. This is where you find the Akashic Records, communicate with Guides, all of it. And you don’t need plants to do it, they are just a nice reminder of what is possible.
Be aware, remember that plants flourish when grown in a natural setting, and remember that you already have all the power inside you to elevate who you are to a higher state of being. Everything in these plants already exists within, we’re just trying to remember how to turn it all on so we can dance around the universe and fall back in love with everything.
Mushrooms are not a high, they are a trip, so embrace the journey and I will see you when you come back from the other side—in divine bliss.
Have a beautiful day. I love you.
-Erin
