More Disney Dreams

Today after looking for some inspiration for this post, I ended up watching a Youtube video on open relationships created by two rather cute boys, Jack and Ben who have been dating for some time. Their vlog series entitled “Our Swirl Life”, which I’m assuming is an allusion to the fact that they’re interracial, features fun, quirky videos discussing random aspects of gay life. While they are not currently in an open relationship, they realized talking about it for their subscribers was likely to stimulate interesting conversation.

Throughout the video, both Jack and Ben seem to differ slightly on their preferences for having an open relationship later on. Jack said that he could see it as a plausible means of satisfying a need for sex if they were to later on “fall out of lust” with each other. Ben, offended by this statement, retorted with a sassy remark along the lines of “Boy, bye”, seemingly revealing his staunch position on the issue. He later on remarked that he doesn’t understand his boyfriend’s thoughts because he was raised idolizing the storyline of Disney princess movies, where the princess always finds her prince and the two live happily ever after, only having sex with each other. He seemed opposed to the notion that one should look outside of the relationship when the fire in the bedroom starts to go dim.

However, Jack who originally said he understands why these relationships are so popular, later said that he could never be in one due to his personality (something that was often mentioned by the men I interviewed). His jealousy would interfere and likely cause him to become a “murderous, psycho boyfriend”. Then they made stabbing actions at each other (so cute). Then Ben joked about having to tell his parents if he were ever in an open relationship, and both agreed that it would be nearly impossible. I realized then that there is a HUGE difference in generations when it comes to open relationships. While gay men of my generation find it the norm, our parents who grew up with staunchly Christian ideals, would never support a relationship where I was having sex with other people. My mother already thinks I’m a slut when I tell her I go on dates with guys from tinder.

At the end of the video, they wanted their viewers to comment with their thoughts on the topic too. Reading through them, I realized there is such a strong divide on this issue in the gay community, and it seems that those opposed seem to have a lot more negativity in their comments than the proponents of open relationships. For example, one Youtube subscriber commented that open relationships symbolize the devaluation of sex in the modern day culture, which I honestly couldn’t argue. The only reply that others had to this comment was that sex is inevitably different (for better and worse) with other people; everyone brings something to the bedroom (or wherever else you happen to be having sex).

So it seems that if one of your priorities is sexual freedom and you don’t seem to be a jealous type, open relationships may be for you! Now just make sure to have direct conversation with your partner, and make sure to establish necessary rules. And for those starry-eyed lovers still fixated on your Disney dreams of monogamy, I wish you the best of luck in finding your soul mate, and I hope that the alarming rates of open relationships don’t hinder you on your journey with your soul mate.

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