Four Ways My Emotional Affair Has Made Me a Better Wife

Increased happiness, enhanced self-confidence, more sexually inclined, reduced complaints and demands.

Eva Grape
Heart Affairs
Published in
6 min readApr 12, 2024


Image generated via MidJourney.

It’s been taking me a while to finally accept that my friendship with this man whom I’ve been chatting with for years, initially as colleagues and then as we both moved to different jobs, as close friends, evolved into something that some would call an “emotional affair”.

To be fair, I don’t like definitions in the way they label us. An emotional affair, or cheating, can have different interpretations depending on whom you’re asking. So, if you ask me, I prefer to call it “self-care” instead.

I think that by having this relationship with this man, who is not married or in any committed relationship and is wise enough to understand my context—to give you a better perspective on things—I am taking care of needs that are not met in my marriage. Why would people look the other way otherwise?

For instance, I always felt an acute lack of intimacy and affection with my husband. He’s a very straightforward guy, so he doesn’t see the value in deep talks about our inner worlds, and he’s not into wanting to spend time with me alone and the list can go on.