How Bumble Ruined Online Dating For Women
Research shows why lady's choice benefits men more than women.
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I recently joined Bumble. I got Tinder out of the way, so now I am researching the app where "women make the first move."
Before I begin this manic diatribe, let's do a warmup exercise. If you are in a loving relationship, please stop reading and hug your partner right now.
Make it a good hug. I will wait…
Ok, partnered folks, please move to the back of the bus and be thankful you don't have to wade through this cesspool that has become online dating.
If you are single…buckle up. I will try to make this a little less painful than looking at men holding up dead fish carcasses.
First, let's examine how Bumble markets itself to women. Bumble's premise is simple —women make the first move. Men can't even contact a woman until she messages him first. Thus, the app brands itself as the feminist dating app that is always "ladies choice."
Ah, ok. Excuse me while I go stuff Darwin back in his grave. He rolled out because he was laughing too hard.
Ok, here's the thing. It. is. Always. Ladies' choice. Always.
Since the first cavewoman realized she must carry a small human around for nine and a half months, women have one fundamental survival mechanism deep in our lizard brains — we must choose mates wisely. We must choose wisely because we have more to lose in this mating dance. While men can spread their seed like fertilizer, women pay the price for their choice — pregnancy. Motherhood has always come at a greater cost than fatherhood.
But let's not blame men. They are just trying to be men and not drop the baby on its head. (And who knows what manhood even means anymore.)
No, you know who is really responsible for this feminist/gender inequality mess? Brace yourself. It's an evil genius…
Yep, freakin adorable. But that baby is laughing at you for a reason.
