How Intermittent Reinforcement Keeps You Hooked in Manipulative Relationships.

I’m the woman who thought she was finally being seen.

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

My husband stopped noticing me years ago. Conversations turned into logistical planning. Affection turned into obligation. I tried to talk about it, tried to fix it. But after a while, you get tired of asking someone to care.

When he retreated into himself after our family fell apart, I stayed. I supported. I waited for him to come back to me. He didn’t. He turned the other way, and I was left holding all the broken pieces.

And then, he walked in.

He’s the man who said everything my husband stopped saying. The man who looked at me the way I hadn’t been looked at in years. He started small — texts, compliments, little moments of attention that reminded me what it felt like to be wanted. He pursued me in a way that felt careful, patient, and genuine.

I told myself it was harmless. You always do at first.

But then we crossed the line.

And for a while, it was everything I thought I needed. He gave me what my husband couldn’t: passion, excitement, a reminder that I was still alive. But then, the cracks started showing. The texts got shorter. The excuses grew longer. He began…