How to Break Up With Someone Without Breaking Them
Lessons I learned from good and bad endings.
Last year, I had lunch with an old coworker after her supposedly "toxic" relationship ended. We will just call her Bertha.
Before those loosen-the-lips Martinis even hit the table, Bertha showed me hilarious text messages she had sent her ex-boyfriend after their breakup.
Her character assassinations were so ridiculously cutting that I almost burst a blood vessel, trying not to laugh. Let’s just say her zingy one-liner insults made the meanest burn books look like Little House on the Prairie. She wasn't punching down. She was pummeling down.
Of course, I asked her an obvious question.
"You just said you loved him and would never get over him. So why did you say those nasty things to someone you love? He will never forgive you." (Trust me…It was bad. He won't.)
She responded, "I wanted to make sure it was over."
Ah, ok. Yeah, ripping out someone's still-beating heart is one way to end a relationship.
But since this wasn't her first bad breakup rodeo, I told her the harsh truth — she would regret her scorched earth ending.
