How To Know When Your Romantic Relationship is ‘Serious’

What are the telltale signs?

Michelle Brown
Sep 8 · 4 min read
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What are the telltale signs?

So many people in fresh romantic relationships eventually arrive at a phase of wondering if they have reached that magical and sometimes ever-so-elusive level of being ‘serious’ with someone.

Generally speaking, getting ‘serious’ with someone you’re dating means that you and that person are both mutually invested in the relationship, sincerely committed, and neither of you wants the relationship to end.

Dating and relationships can be especially tricky when you’re trying to find a partner with whom you want to have a long-lasting, committed relationship. Not everyone who is out in the dating world is sure of what they want even though they’re out there dating people.

So how do you know if the person you are dating is actually serious about you? How do you know if you are or aren’t wasting your time with someone who may or may not be really ‘into you’ for the long haul?

When a person you’re dating wants to introduce you to anyone in their lives, whether it’s their friends, family, or even just their neighbors — that’s usually a great telltale sign that they are excited about the fact that they are dating you and/or they want to openly include you in some aspect of their lives.

This could also mean that they want their friends or family’s opinion about you which is a positive sign that they’re assessing where the relationship is going and may also be getting fairly serious about it.

A person whom you’re dating doesn’t have to introduce you to their family or friends immediately after you start seeing one another. However, after a certain period of time, you should at least begin to know who their social circle is and they should know about yours.

If you’ve been dating someone for many months and they still haven’t initiated any kind of introduction with the people who are closest to them, it might be a poignant time to wonder if this relationship is going anywhere.

As much as we as a society tend to put emphasis on how much time a couple should spend together in order to have a quality relationship, it’s not necessary to spend every waking minute together. However, if the person you’re seeing doesn’t make any space available for you in their life or any effort towards communication when they’re not with you, you may start to wonder where things are headed.

For a potential partner to show you they’re truly serious about you, they don’t necessarily have to be with you in person all of the time. It’s how they utilize the time they do have to let you know you’re important to them that sincerely matters.

For instance, a person can call, text, video chat, or email if they want to show you they’re thinking of you when they’re not physically able to get together.

It’s really pretty simple and if the person you’re seeing isn’t doing any of these things or initiating any kind of contact — even just a quick message to tell you they’re super busy and that they’re thinking of you — it’s probably safe to assume they aren’t that serious about you.

We’re all busy. We’re all distracted. We all have our own problems and challenges.

However, when you’ve invested a pretty good chunk of time dating a particular person, it’s really fantastic when they put an effort into making you feel like you’re a serious part of their life. And vice versa for you.

In any new relationship that’s just starting out— questions matter. If a person you are dating never asks you any questions about your life or your interests, it’s a safe bet that they probably aren’t interested in the answers because they’re not invested in a potential future with you.

Does this person you’re seeing ask you anything about your past or about your prior relationships? Are they curious about what you want in the future? If a person you’re dating asks you these kinds of questions, it’s a pretty clear indication that they feel serious about the relationship.

If you ask this person a question about themselves or their goals in life, do you get a straight answer? Does the person you’re seeing want a long-term partnership? Do they want children one day? These are the kinds of questions that do need to be asked at some point.

If — after a longer period of time, you still can’t get an answer to anything which involves discussing the future of the relationship it may be time to reassess the ‘serious relationship’ potential of the person you’re seeing.

Asking questions is how we share with one another and if someone is serious about you, they’re going to want to explore every nook and cranny of who you are and what you’re all about.

More from Michelle: This Is How Often Real Couples Are Having Sex — And How it’s Affecting Their Relationships

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Michelle Brown

Written by

Top Writer, Partner, Lover, Mother & Stepmother. Ponderings on sex, love, parenting, step-parenting & the journey of life. Meet me there.

Heart Affairs

Love and lust can be messy.

Michelle Brown

Written by

Top Writer, Partner, Lover, Mother & Stepmother. Ponderings on sex, love, parenting, step-parenting & the journey of life. Meet me there.

Heart Affairs

Love and lust can be messy.

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